And the good news is …

… No evidence of disease!

My PET scan and both CTs show no new tumors, and no evidence of any hypermetabolic activity. Which is GOOD NEWS.

I’m not strong enough to start chemo yet, says the oncologist, so we’ll wait 2.5-3 weeks and then get on that. I’ll be taking chemo in a pill to kill the small cancer cells and clusters that don’t show up on scans. 4 pills, twice a day, for 2 weeks, then a week off, then 2 weeks on — for 6 months. More details about that another day.

For now, I’m to rest when I need to, get out when I can, and enjoy life without worrying about the cancer.

Hallelujah.

Decision Time

In just a few hours, I’ll be heading back to the oncologist for the results of my post-radiation PET scan, chest CT, abdomen and pelvis CT, bloodwork, and the report from my radiation oncologist.  We’ll finally find out whether the surgery and radiation killed the cancer cells in my body, or if they’re gearing up for another fight.

Whether BlogHer 10 will be all sweetness and celebration for me, or not.

Whether I can move on and go shopping with my friends this weekend, or not.

Whether I will get stronger and stronger as I have been the last several weeks as the radiation effects wear off, or not.

Whether I will get the chemo pill, or go to the hospital for the chemo infusions through a port in my chest every week or three.

Whether I will …

Oh, forget it.  You know what I’m saying here.  Big day.

I almost ended up going to cover President Obama’s speech at the National Urban League Conference tomorrow morning, squeezing it in just before my appointment, but I’ll simply be too nervous and too focused on getting there, so I passed at the last minute.  Justice Stacey,  TechSavvyMama, Minky, and Amanda will do a GREAT job in the blogger pool, and I’ll just tootle on down to the hospital for my appointment.  (You can watch the speech online here at 8 a.m. EDT, or check their blogs later tomorrow.  Very cool.)

I’m expecting very good news tomorrow (what else can I expect?), but until I hear the good news from my oncologist Herself, I admit I’ll still be a little nervous.

A little.

This week was a good one.  I spent a few days up at my mom and dad’s house with the kids, helping them have a good ol’ fashioned small town summer, complete with a trip to the fair.  We petted pigs, stood nottooclose to the cow wash, heard the goats complain about their pens, and watched the sheep look at us funny with those little tufts left on top of their heads.  And then, Iamnotmakingthisup, we watched a goat show.  The 4-H kids were showing the young goats they had raised, and the judge was calling out the results and the rationales at the end of each round like an auction caller. 

The children were fascinated.

And then, they climbed on the tractors.  All of them.  All sixteen hundred of them, as far as I could tell, as they test-drove-in-place machine after machine as if they were making a purchase, my little city boys.

We had a lovely time.

If I were Stimey, this post would be filled with pictures (and humor).

I’m not.  It’s not.  I’m just a little nervous about tomorrow.

Decision time.

BlogHer: Parties

Note: If you’re not interested in the upcoming BlogHer conference, please skip today’s post and come back tomorrow.  Sorry.

There is angst in the blogosphere surrounding the matter of private parties at BlogHer 2010.  It’s not like me to write about blogger drama — but the pleading in the #blogher10 and #blogher tweetstreams is making me wonder if perhaps it’s time to stand up and speak my piece about this.

I’m not suggesting that anyone do anything drastic, but here’s how I planned my BlogHer trip last week.

1. Made a schedule.  I took a look at all the sessions, the rooms of your own (ROYO), the birds of a feather meetups (there’s one for health bloggers! for moms of kids with special needs! for so many other things!) and the evening events and highlighted where I really wanted to be at any given moment. 

2. I looked at the events I RSVP’d for in early April.  Carefully.  Was I overcommitted?  Was I really going to attend two or more events in the same evening time slot?  Would I really still be awake for CheeseburgHer at 10 p.m. Saturday night?  Was I really going to be up for dancing Friday night after speaking at our Room of Your Own (ROYO), reading my post in front of thousands (eek!) at the Community Keynote, and raising a glass with friends at the BlogHer Voices of the Year Gala and Art Auction?  Was I really ok with missing a session Saturday morning for a sponsored event?

3. I cancelled my RSVPs.  Not all of them.  But some of them.  I decided that for me, it didn’t feel right to attend so many parties when so many new bloggers found out about the parties when they registered for the conference — after the parties were full – and were relegated to the waitlist.  I did keep my RSVP to the People’s Party, fwiw, because I adore the organizers and the sentiment, and I’ve had a good time there the last two years.

4. I kept my schedule close by.  When I was invited to private events that conflicted with my priorities, I said NO.  No thank you, that is, and please invite another blogger instead.

They will.  The parties and events will be packed.  They always are.  We’ll have a good time – and so will you, whether we’re at That Fancy Party, soaking up knowledge and laughing together in the sessions, or just sitting together in the lobby.  We will.   And I’ll try to remember that.  I’ll try to remember exactly why I made these decisions, keeping my head, even if I get swept along with a group here or there, and not be envious of blogger X who got into event Y.   

As I see it, BlogHer isn’t about exclusivity.  It isn’t about who got invited where, or who’s wearing what, or how busy we can make ourselves, seeing everyone and being the life of the party.

BlogHer is about forming and reinforcing a community among women of varied backgrounds, with varied priorities, and with varied lives, and seeing the beauty in community.

BlogHer isn’t about “me.”  It’s about “us.” 

I can’t wait.