First CT scan

I go in for my CT scan in just a few hours. This is a full-body organ and tissue scan that will catch lumps of cancer anywhere it may have spread. I’m not nearly as nervous as I thought I’d be at this point. I thought I would be panicky, but I’m actually calm. I know it’s not in my bones, and I’m finally starting to feel better again. I’ve spent the last few days with my kids, and the nights working on my NASA contract. It’s all starting to come together again, as impossible as that seemed just a few days ago.

I even bought my airplane ticket to BlogHer and sent in my bio for the program. I cannot BELIEVE how amazing the line up is this year. Registration closes tomorrow, so if you’re a blogger still on the fence about going, take a look at the agenda again. It’s awesome.

I cleaned out my closets with the nervous energy that arrived without invitation, and I just packed the front hall full of baby gear for the local children’s charity.

I went blueberry picking with my husband and children, and we ate handfuls of the tart/sweet fruit straight out of the bucket.

I drew mazes on the driveway for my 3 year old to navigate, and clasped my 1 year old to my chest tightly as we both cried over his first skinned knee.

I let my kids stay up late to catch fireflies, chasing them in the brightness that comes just before dark.

I read my boys stories, over and over, when I got too tired to run around and “catch flies” with them outside, or hunt spiders, or toss the football around in the park.

I reveled in my luck, to be able to toss a football around in the park again, and to teach my kid how to pass and catch, and run — really run — for a touchdown.

I ate picnics in the park.  Twice.  A blanket, a tree, a pb&j, a bag of shredded carrots, and an orange for each of us.  Sticky sweet summer fun.

I went downtown for a day of work, and I came home reenergized for the work I do at home.

I made plans for the weekend, and plans for July, and plans for September.  Without cringing or worrying about nonrefundable costs or what-if-i-get-bad-news scenarios.

I even cooked brownies tonight. Butterscotch brownies.  Yum.

Oh, and I caught up on some reviews I’ve been meaning to write. Click on over to Review Planet if you’re interested in hearing about the new Leapfrog Tag learning system; books for grownups, parents, and kids; or a new kids’ TV show on PBS that we were happy to learn about.

I go for my test tomorrow,

But I’m not worried.

For I got to do everything on this list this week.

And I know now how lucky I am.

…

A great big THANK YOU to TechSavvyMama for nominating me for this month’s Perfect Post awards! She chose All My Favorite Things, an essay I wrote after a particularly trying night. Thanks, TechSavvyMama, and everyone who left a nice comment on that one. It helped.