As the sun rises on a New Year, I am reminded of my myriad blessings and blessedly few challenges. I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life, and I want to pause and reflect on the difference that they’ve made to me.
I want to, but for some reason I can’t get over this 100th post hump. For months, I’ve been posting every day (except when I’ve been in the E.R. or numb with pain!) with seemingly no problem, but this week, nada. I started this post on Monday with the best of intentions (praise Daddy, Widget, Whybaby in utero, all the grandparents, playgroup friends, Canape, NY friend, blogging friends, and supportive commenters), and just haven’t been able to push past the treacle that comes out when I’m on pain medication or the bitterness that pours out when I’m not.
It’s been five days now since I’ve posted — the longest hiatus yet for me — and now I’m starting to get emails like those over at Motherhood Uncensored wondering if I’ve gone into labor and had that baby already. Um, no. No baby yet. We did go back to my OB this week (and will be going every Thursday until Whybaby decides to grace us with his presence) and found out that we are NOT ready to have this baby yet. Argh. We won’t be inducing until the 39th week, if then, and we’re back to waiting. Groaning and waiting and trying not to whine. The body (oh, I wish I were brave enough to share a belly shot, but there is NO WAY I’m posting that on the internet) is groaning under the 37 weeks of baby weight testing my injured back. I’m waiting for a reprieve from the 29 weeks of bedrest that I’ve endured (and Daddy is waiting for me to be able to bend and do my share of housework again, I’m sure!). We’re all trying not to whine as the cold damp air keeps Widget inside for yet another day and we run out of things to keep us all in good spirits.
Widget had a great playdate yesterday with a 3.5 year old friend that we hadn’t seen since June. This friend has never been a talker, but now he is positively verbal. He talked all the way through our playdate, using complete sentences, expressing his feelings, asking questions (including WHY!), the whole nine yards. He did start out shy, which is totally understandable, and I was so proud when Widget tried to engage him in play. He showed his friend the foam tunnel that we love to crawl through, with no success, and then I suggested that the boys “fix” it and asked Widget to find two hammers and bring one over to his friend. Widget did, offering the hammer, and putting it in his friend’s hand. Well, he wasn’t interested, but it was a big step for Widget! Later we went downstairs and played in the ball pit and everyone loosened up and had a grand old time. Widget even took part in a made-up game where we passed the balls to each other and his friend sat on a stool and pitched them into the ball pit! Widget thought that working cooperatively (passing the balls from his friend’s mom to his friend) was the neatest thing, and he clapped and cheered for successful shots! We had a great late-afternoon playdate, and it was the perfect antidote to a lackadasical week.
Today I solo’ed on child care for parts of the morning and afternoon while Daddy had big meetings downtown. No problems, but no real excitement either. Resting is really getting old, but the alternative (getting up and doing light housework or play for 20-30 minutes each morning) always brings afternoon payback — not being able to move from the bed for hours at a time, even on medication. Ouch. I’m doing it, though, and working through it, for I will recover from this and be even stronger than I was before. Maybe I’ll do a half-marathon like Miss Zoot. Maybe I’ll just be able to walk my kids to the park. Whatever the New Year holds, I want to go into it fighting. And writing. And loving my kids more than ever before.
And that’s my 100th post. Let’s get on with it, shall we?