Out with the old!

After the epiphany-in-the-car that I wrote about yesterday, I was inspired to take action.  (I will wear that little yellow dress again — I will!)  I woke up the next morning resolved to go shopping.

I know, I know, what else is new in the world of mommyblogs?  But you have to believe me when I say that this is not a common event around our house.  My outfits of late have been more from the Functional Playdate line than the Wow, I Feel Cute In This collection.  And nothing says fun like functional.  So, I called in the troops, bought myself an hour with my closet, and went to work.

Maternity clothes?  Banished.

Yoga pants?  Burned.

Favorite t-shirts from college?  The rag bag.  Most of them.

Sweaters that I haven’t worn since my personal thermostat changed post-birth?  Donated.

Hilfiger jeans that I bought to celebrate my post-Widget body but now fall down around my hips?  In the to-go bag.

Giant nursing tops from the last go-round?  Out.

Comfy PJs?  In.  Are you kidding me?  Comfy PJs are always in.  I so totally kept those in the rotation.  But I did swear to wear them only at night.

All told, I filled 4 large white bags of clothes for the local clothing ministry, and another 2 of things I wouldn’t give my little brother to wear.  Hurrah!  Clutter and ill-fitting clothes, gone from my life.

The next day, I went shopping.  Armed with Susan’s list of essentials, I worked the aisles of my local department store, picking up 2 cute tops, 1 polo shirt (I couldn’t decide if they were in style at all, but it makes me look skinny and I found it in red), 2 pairs of skinny jeans (just in time for them to go out of style, I’m sure) in a dark wash, 2 pairs of these shorts but with a cuff, a gorgeous long swirly skirt in black, summer slides, and even a bit of perfume.  It was an amazing couple of hours, and, I have to say, there was something different about shopping this time.

I didn’t feel awkward or fat.

Why?  I wish I could tell you.  I wish I could lay it out here for all to read, to say that my self-esteem was bucked up by the recent upturn in my business, or the fact that I’m beginning to acept myself as a perfectly good mother, or even that we’ve had grandparents visiting and I felt comfortable leaving my boys in (so many pairs of) good hands.  I wish I could put it into words, or bottle it so that I could open it anytime I wished, and, with a quick whiff, feel good about myself and my body again.  But I can’t.  All I can say is that it was a success.

And in my new clothes, I feel like I’m a success too.

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