My angels

If no man is an island, and it takes a village to raise a child, then what can a team of women do if they set their minds to it?  Is it unreasonable to think that with the help of friends and blogfriends, I can beat this cancer?  I don’t think it is. 

I’ve gone public with my cancer, from the very moment of diagnosis, for several reasons.  One reason is to help educate other women and young moms that cancer can strike at any time, at any age — and you don’t even have to have a lump!  Another reason is because I’ve gotten accustomed to typing out my thoughts and feelings — and I’m very likely to have some on this topic.  A few.  But the third — the third is very selfish. 

I need people to know that I have cancer.  I need them not to look away at the sight of my ugly bald head.  I need them not to pity me when they see the young woman with the hat slowly moving along behind the two-kid stroller.  I need them to cheer me on, instead, and to smile when they see me, and to help me see the good side of life.  I need their thoughts and prayers and healing light and good spirits.  Because I am not likely to be able to sustain this fight and positive outlook on my own. 

Already, the blogosphere is taking note.  Already, my friends are rallying.  Already, there is a theme.  And there will be bling.

Many thanks to the new Team WhyMommy, forming over at Canape’s place, Don’t Take the Repeats.  These fine women are banding together to form a protective wall around me.  To say only positive things.  And to say them more than once, or to comment over here, or to put this fine button on their blog.

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Isn’t that a cool button?  I like it.  I like it a lot.

If you like it, you can have it for your sidebar too.   I’d be mighty proud if you did, actually.  It makes me smile.  A lot.  And plus, you’d be in really good company.   Check out this list of women who are sporting it already on their sites.

You all are awesome.  And everyone who is taking the time to read this now and leave me a positive comment is too. 

Want to be added to the list?  You don’t have to do anything special (although it would be awesome if you’d give me something to think about instead of this d*mn cancer and chemo), just go talk to Canape to get the code.  And let her know, or me know, or both, that you’re there for me, just a little bit.

Because together, we can beat this cancer.  It will not prevail over this woman, over this team of women.

It wouldn’t dare.


Thanks for your comments!  As I’m just beginning my fight against breast cancer, I am particularly sensitive right now and need positive comments and wishes of strength only right now.  No pity here!

41 Responses to My angels

  1. Jennie says:

    I’m new to your blog- but thanks for the great read and I KNOW you’ll beat this thing!!!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There’s a note in my blog too.

  2. canape says:

    And in your honor, because we know how you feel about learning, part of joining up with Team Whymommy will be to share ideas of what you can do to help friends with cancer. In person and over the internet.

    So you get to educating us. And we are going to educate each other too.

    Oh, and that means that if any of us do something stupid or wrong (and by any of us, I mean me), be sure to mention it so that we can add it to our collections of “do not’s.”

  3. LawyerMama says:

    I’m in. Education is so important. Especially with IBC, from what I understand.

  4. MammaLoves says:

    Okay, so you need something else to think about…

    You’re a scientist. Is it possible to fart and burp at the same time?

  5. Joanna says:

    Here from Bon’s site and will be cheering you on – from your initial post through to this one, I can FEEL your positive energy. You will beat this, I know it. Strength and positive vibes headed your way —

  6. Kris says:

    I found your site through Canape and I joined the team to give nothing but positive support. I’ll be here with the others to cheer you on as you win this battle.

  7. katy says:

    You are going to do great with this. I know it is scary but you are obviously loved and prayed for by many people.

  8. MamaLee says:

    I’m still here with ya! I put up the team button on my blog, and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Continued strength, for you are not alone!

  9. Stimey says:

    You know I’m proud to be part of Team WhyMommy. And I applaud you for learning to say yes. We wouldn’t offer if we didn’t mean it.

  10. OvaGirl says:

    You are an inspiration whymommy. Hang in there, you are fighting the good fight and…you are not alone.
    Thinking of you.

  11. […] Jul 1st, 2007 by coolbeans Whymommy of Toddler Planet said: I need people to know that I have cancer. I need them not to look away at the sight of my ugly bald … […]

  12. Dawn says:

    You got it, chick! I’ll be spreading the word over at my blog too 🙂

  13. Jennie says:

    Thanks for the comments at my blog and I am sure we will be friends too- I actually worked at NASA, KSC for 2 summers before deciding that chemistry was my preferred area. It is always nice to find other science moms making the choice to stay-at-home (seems rarer to me.)
    I’ll be praying for you and your family at Church today.

  14. Emily says:

    THis is the crazy thing. I logged on today to tell you something, and it goes perfectly with this post:

    I have never met you or seen a picture of you. I just recently started visiting you. But I met you in my dream last night. ANd you have a beautiful smile.

    I’m not usually so smarmy, but I thought you’d want to know.

  15. Luanne says:

    I am also new to your blog and am behind you in this fight 110%. I know many survivors, and you will be able to say that too, that YOU are a survivor. Because together with our support, your determination and strength, you will beat the crap out of it!
    I will go over and get the code and muster up enough brain power to add it on my new blog.
    Keep your head up, those two boys are beautiful!

  16. Kristin says:

    I think a bald head is kind of beautiful – it’s a sign of strength and courage, of not going gently into this dark night. And think of all the scarves and hats you’ll get to try – you’re opening a whole new world of accessories.

  17. KillerBoob says:

    I’ll be honored to join the team, just as soon as I get it worked out. Meanwhile, I bet you’ll look great bald (like I did if I do say so myself 🙂 there’s one advantage of being a young sufferer. We often look “edgy”, not sick. You’ll be “trendier” than you’ve ever been in your life!

  18. […] her latest post, she asks that people not avert their eyes. I don’t see how they could. She’s going to […]

  19. karen says:

    I came here via slouching mom. One of my best friends beat breast cancer at 36, went on to marry at 38, have a kid at 40, breast feed him off one breast and adopt another kid at 42. She’s kick-ass and so are you – we are with you in this fight! Be strong – Karen

  20. mamatulip says:

    I will absolutely put this button on my blog. Team Whymommy; that totally rocks.

  21. shauna says:

    Thinking about you! And adding the bling to my blog…

  22. motherofbun says:

    I’m putting this cute button on both blogs (regular and review one.)

    And can I mention you in “On my Mind Mondays?” Am sending you LOTS of positive vibes. Give that cancer the butt kicking it so richly deserves. You can do it. I KNOW you can!

  23. Amy says:

    I have such an idea!! Check your e-mail!!!

  24. Izzy says:

    Please add me to your wall of strength and positivity! I have the button up and it will serve as a reminder for all of us to keep cheering for Team Whymommy!

  25. citrine says:

    Oh, and about that “ugly bald head”. One word, Hennahead. Get your doctor’s permission first, and DO NOT use black henna for this (it contains all kinds of crap), but when the time comes you can enlist some friends and rock out your fine fair scalp with elegant mehndi, or, alternately, wild graffitti. Maybe just some pretty tracery along the hairline to peek out from under a pretty scarf. Get wild.

  26. Ally says:

    I finally got the button on my site! Hooray! Keep up the fight!

  27. Ally says:

    I just finished a post about you; click on over if you want.

  28. I just joined Team WhyMommy and I wondered if you have ANY idea how much courage you have and what an inspiration you have become to others.

    My Mom was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (13 years ago) and Breast Cancer (6 years ago – she had a mastectomy). I recall, like it was yesterday, the doctor telling our family that she WOULD indeed get sick, she WOULD lose all her hair and she WOULD get down and depressed some days – and then (most importantly) this experience would all become a distant memory and life would go on. Looking back now, he was right (although at the time I was consumed with negative thoughts). She is still living with a newfound perspective on life and I know you will too.

    You WILL get through this – hour by hour and day by day!

  29. Nancy says:

    Happy to be part of the cheering squad. 🙂

  30. ella says:

    I’m definitely there for you, and more than just a little bit.

    And I’d be honored to be part of Team WhyMommy so I’m off to see Canape now.

  31. clifford says:

    HEY. Feeling left out over here! Team of women AND one guy.

  32. fidget says:

    I add your code to my sidebar. I am proud to be a member of your team. I know you can beat this and I will be here to cheer you on!

  33. Nicole says:

    My son is 2 weeks older than Little Bear and I just want to tell you that you are a total inspiration. I am new to your blog but I am moved by everything you have written.

    Stay strong and lean on your friends and family. They are here to help you and hold you up when you need it as you have undoubtedly done for them in the past.

  34. imstell says:

    WhyMommy – I am an 8.5 month survivor of IBC. I have a two boys also, 2 & 7. You are going to be alright. The important thing is to keep your power. Don’t give cancer power over you or your life. I brought things to do to the chemo room – books, bday party invitations to address, the woefully neglected 2nd child’s baby book. It kept me busy, my mind off the drugs and made me feel productive instead of sick.

    You have about 2 weeks after your first treatment before your hair falls out. When you start seeing the beginings, shave it. Trust me when I say that losing one’s hair in theory is MUCH easier than the reality. Besides, the shaving reclaims your power over your body. I didn’t bother with a wig because chemo put me into menopause & the hot flashes were very wig prohibitive. 😉

    You will have days when you can’t get out of bed. But, Honey… those days are not the only days. They were few and far between for me. I still took my son to kindergarten most every day, went to all his t-ball & soccer games and even managed a trip to Disneyland for his birthday.

    You are strong. You have Mom Strength and there is no match in the world for that! My biggest advice is to get help watching your kids. Tho I was very hands-on – being the sole care giver will wear you down. Remember that “YES” word and let friends help. Someday this will only be a footnote in your life.

  35. […] no sadness and no pity, because she is determined to beat this cancer.  And a team of women – Team WhyMommy – has gathered to help cheer her […]

  36. […] no sadness and no pity, because she is determined to beat this cancer.  And a team of women – Team WhyMommy – has gathered to help cheer her […]

  37. Mary says:

    Hope all goes well for you. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  38. Kyle says:

    I know two women who have had breast cancer…and two women who have beat breast cancer. Yes, the two that had it and the two that beat it are one and the same, or should I say two and the same. I’m sending you and yours lots of love and good vibes from Chile!

  39. Jen says:

    Thank you for your honesty. I’m 30 years old and was diagnosed 3 weeks ago tomorrow. I’m sitting in the hospital waiting room as I type this, waiting for my lumpectomy. Like you, I was a new nursing mom when I found my lump. Like you, I had to wean (immediately). I love the analogy of the wall of support, I plan to use that. It’s amazing what thoughtless comments people make when you tell them about your diagnosis.
    Thank you, I plan to follow your journey and we WILL beat this!

  40. […] At first, I got plenty of stares. […]

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