I’m still here

Today I had my first chemotherapy appointment.  I am tired beyond tired, nauseated when I so much as move, and my head feels like it’s going to explode, but I am still here.  And I am still fighting.  And tomorrow may be worse, but the next day will be better.  And then the day after that.  

Thanks for going through this with me.  I know it helped.  I’ll post more about the day when I’m stronger, but I have left you a little something I was working on earlier this week as a follow up to the Survivor Stories post.

Oh, and know what I took with me to chemo?  Drinks, snacks, magazines, photos of the kids and MOMS Club friends, my cool pink Team WhyMommy shirt (my chemo nurse loved it), and you.  I took you all with me in my heart, and I just want to say … thanks for being there.  I was so totally not alone.

47 Responses to I’m still here

  1. We love you, sweet mama. Never alone.

  2. ohamanda says:

    Not alone. Jesus said he’d never leave your or desert you. Not even in that chemo chair. I prayed for you today.

  3. katy says:

    You are so brave and women will have you to look up to in the future when they are walking in your shoes.

  4. canape says:

    You are right. You were not alone. And you won’t be alone.

    Congratulations on day 1. I’m so incredibly proud of you.

  5. ~JJ! says:

    I was thinking of you all day today…Did you feel strong..? Because I sent you all of my strength…I sent it to you in my soul…I hope you felt it.

    You were not alone..I was there with you.

    Feel me holding you up! I’m there…

  6. Colleen says:

    I was thinking of you today, WM. You are so strong, God love you, even if you don’t feel strong at all. Even with the awful nausaea and tiredness, you’re sticking that &^*E&!@# cancer in the eye.

  7. clifford says:

    You think you’re hurting? You should see what you did to the other guy.

    Round 1 is in the books!

  8. Just take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. You WILL get through this.

  9. Mrs. Chicky says:

    You are not alone. It’s not easy, but you’ve got lots of support.

  10. Stimey says:

    You’re beautiful, as are your words. Keep it up!

  11. mayberry says:

    We will be there every day!

  12. MammaLoves says:

    That’s right! You were not alone.

    You’re stuck with us, which is probably fine with you now, but when we start to stink let’s see if you still want us around.

    Way to go WhyMommy! You’re amazing and brave.

  13. Linda Lawrence says:

    Thanks for keeping us up to date! You are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.

  14. Arkie Mama says:

    You are absolutely not alone. You’ve got us and some powerful drugs to beat this thing down. More importantly, however, you also have an incredible fighting spirit. All this will carry you through the tough parts.

    Hang in there. We’re all cheering you on.

  15. jen says:

    nowhere near alone. nowhere even close.

  16. Ally says:

    I love that you just had round one, finally getting a chance to fight! I’m hoping you feel better soon and the nausea subsides. Good work, WM! Stay strong!

  17. Jennie says:

    Good for you! Keep fighting! We’re all here for you!

  18. We are NONE of us alone– we are a team!!

    You did GREAT today, Whymommy… You are so brave, so strong!! We are in awe.

    Love to you tonight!!

  19. I’m so glad you felt us there. Because we were.

  20. (((HUGS))) and cheers for you. Our prayers are there for us, always.

  21. diatribal says:

    Rest well and know that there will be better days. You have tons of thought with you, always.

  22. coolbeans says:

    Even if I’m not around to comment, I’m reading and cheering for you.

  23. As you say, you were NOT alone. I hope you felt us all there with you.

  24. Jacquie says:

    God didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

    Kick ass WhyMommy kick some cancer ass!

  25. Kris says:

    We will all be with you every time you sit in that chair. You’re in my thoughts.

  26. Mrs. Chicken says:

    Thinking about you and that crappy cancer. I feel good that you are finally getting your medicine.

    Chemo is hard; killing cancer is a good thing.

  27. Matt says:

    Rest up and get ready for round 2. I can hear cancer whimpering in the corner, “Nobody told me she would be this tough!”

  28. Matt says:

    Oh, and then cancer says, “And who the hell are all these crazy women, surrounding her and supporting her. They won’t let me through!.”

  29. Jennifer says:

    Glad Day 1 is done.

    We’re here.

  30. Emily says:

    I hope you are feeling less awful after day 2.

  31. Elizabeth says:

    Thinking of you.

  32. Linda Allegrezza says:

    Add an old 7th grade teacher as one who reads your beautifully written words with too many emotions to name. Just know how proud of you am I! Ms. A

  33. Bon says:

    never alone. we’re holding tight.

    first blow to cancer down. you’re doing good, Whymommy…now rest for a bit.

    love to you, and strength.

  34. binkytown says:

    Whymommy, I am so in awe of your spirit and your continued feisty-ness. We’ve got your back!

  35. Kristin says:

    I’m here, on vacation (or a weekend away) and thinking of you. Rooting for you.

  36. You’re certainly not alone, ever!

    Hope Day 2 is better than you had thought it would be. And if it’s not… I’m sorry. Day 3 will be here, soon, very soon.

    Bless. Your. Heart.

    Thinking of you. And praying so incredibly hard for you.

  37. clifford says:

    The thing that kicks ass is that IBC is who’s (or whose, I never can remember) scared now. Chemo uppercuts to the jaw will do that. ‘Cause if you’re scared, say you’re scared. (and I asked…IBC said it was scared)

    So there you have it.

  38. Jenn says:

    I am so glad you saw me there.

    I wasn’t sure you’d recognize me.

    I woke up at 3:48 and thought, “I wonder how her chemo went” and with all my might, I sent out comfort to you.

  39. Kim says:

    The beginning of the end of chemo- yeah!!!
    Go!!!

    kim

  40. Kim says:

    oh, and i forgot to tell you i love the pics of your kids on the sidebar- such perfect round heads. they make me smile

  41. twithhoney says:

    It is great to read your words and see the strength behind them. And that is AWESOME. You are seriously kicking this things butt. I love the optimism.
    You’re a feisty fighter!!

  42. Colleen says:

    You have so many people thinking of you and praying for the best. The fact that you can put up even a short post after your first chemo treatment is amazing. Keep fighting! You are so strong.

  43. Damselfly says:

    You are not alone!

    Hurray for you. I hope your fatigue and nausea go away.

  44. Lil Liberal says:

    You definitely weren’t alone. I was thinking about you all day yesterday. And it looks like I wasn’t the only one!

    I keep telling people your story, and about how totally strong you are, and how much I admire you.

  45. Nancy says:

    Congratulations on making it through your first day. Every little bit puts it farther behind you.

  46. Aliki says:

    I hope you never EVER feel alone–I thought about you today. Congrats on getting through the start of it all.

  47. ggirl says:

    After my first chemotherapy session, I had to cross a pedestrian bridge between two buildings. There are modified golf carts that people use to go back and forth because it’s a pretty long way. On my way in, I walked. After it was over, I rode the golf cart at my mom’s insistence. Nonethless, I had to take another break and just rest about halfway TO the cart area. It’s exhausting!

    Hang in there. You’ll get through this. Sending prayers and positive thoughts.

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