The funny thing about this cancer is that I can watch while it tries to take over my body. Okay, that doesn’t sound nearly as funny now as it did in my head. But it really is rather interesting.
At first, I was freaked out by its progress as it marched over my breast, turning everything red and dimpled.
Two weeks later, I like to think I’m a little more mature about it.
But it’s still marching, and now it’s turned most of my breast pinkish, dimpled, and hard. The texture is quickly becoming hard and stiff, as the cancer nests, or sheets of cancer, build and grow inside. It’s heavy. [Heavier even than they were while I was nursing — but not yet to the just-home-from-the-hospital engorgement stage, for those moms who are wondering.] It’s painful, with shooting pains catching me off-guard as I try to load the dishwasher or push my toddler on the swing. It’s swollen, and pinkish, and looks…not what I’d select for myself, you know?
But looks aren’t everything. I’ve had my first chemo treatment and get my second in nine days. I’ve heard from other survivors of inflammatory breast cancer that I may start to see a change after my second treatment. I certainly hope so.
Because for now, I still have to live with this beast, perched on my chest, transforming a very personal body part into something that I hardly recognize.
And it’s hard to watch.
Let’s not just watch it! I’m trying to stay busy getting the word out about inflammatory breast cancer — and you can help! Simply copy and paste this post on your own blog, or send it to the moms you know, and together we can spread the word.