I’m … not doing well.
This week has been a hard recovery, with stops and starts. I was able to sit up during Canape’s visit on Sunday, for nearly 2 hours, and it was absolutely lovely to see good friends. But then I spent the rest of the day in bed. And again Monday. And again Tuesday. And Wednesday I went out to morning yoga, and got centered, but also got exhausted. And now I haven’t done so much as check my email in days. I tried to put together a post about baby books we love (maybe later), and I did a review of the new PBS kids show Word World over at Review Planet, but that’s the entire sum of my accomplishments for the week.
Well, and I also spent time with my boys.
And helped Widget make a birthday hat.
And read him story after story for his naptimes.
And told him more stories after lights-out. Stories about two little brothers named Orville and Wilbur who grew up and made the very first airplane. About another little boy named Alexander who grew up to invent the telephone with his friend Watson. About sailing ships and pirates and how it feels to have the wind blow on your face as you sail across the Bay. About how Mommy and Daddy will take him sailing one day, when he’s big enough. And about how he and Little Bear will grow up to do amazing things and have fun together, and make a difference in the world.
I’m sneaky that way.
I’ve also cuddled baby Little Bear. And fed him Cheerios with my good hand. And helped him take some sips of milk out of a cup (finally!). And held him and talked with him and bounced a silly mylar balloon above our heads to make him laugh. Gramma says it’s teaching cause and effect, but we just think it’s fun.
Little Bear cut two teeth. And took some steps across the floor with Grandpa. And now grunts and grumbles and grouses loudly as he works to figure out his rattles and levers and the toy car he “found” at the table one day.
He’s playing on the floor with Grandma now. Widget is finishing his nap upstairs. And I’m still here.
I guess maybe I’m doing better than I thought.
I’m still here. After a week like this one, that’s important to remember and to focus on. I’m still here. And tomorrow will be better than today. As long as the chemo is working, I have tomorrow to look forward to. (And then the surgery, recovery, and marathon of daily radiation. But we’ll tackle that when it comes. ) Today, I can sit up for a few minutes every few hours.
And I’m still here.