Just between you and me … I have this post that I’ve been working on, called What I Saw at the Race, but I can’t seem to finish it. I know there should be pictures posted of me and my team at the Race for the Cure, especially after all your support, but … it’s hard. As I go through chemo and these weeks of weakness it’s getting harder to post (or even see) photos of myself. I know that it’s impossible to fight and win against this cancer without there being a physical toll, but … still. As I looked at photos this week of me and my cousins at the race, and then later of my friends and me at our MOMS Club costume party, I just am struck by how very bald I am. And pale. And not altogether like myself. And I wonder if perhaps it’s time to get a wig or commit to wearing a hat all the time, to assuage what little vanity/pride I have left, or to protect the feelings of others. I’ve been wearing my baldness proudly, showing the world that there’s nothing to be ashamed of in being sick. But now I’m wondering if I just look … sick?
Edited to add: As always, fellow bloggers and friends pulled me out of my funk before even an hour had passed. Two special readers, The Dairy Wife and Skywriter, gave me new blog bling this week and wrote really beautiful things for me. Thank you! And then there’s Mom Huebert from Chocolate After Supper, the only person I know who successfully saved a slice of wedding cake for her 25th anniversary. Her comment on my MOMS Club post caught my eye. I like her!
I’ve decided just to suck it up and post a picture of me from our MOMS Club costume party yesterday. There, over and done with. Now, instead of feeling sorry for me, go over to From the Frontlines and send their family and teenage friend E your prayers today, would you please? I’m just being vain. They’ve got a diagnosis to absorb.
Why, yes, that is my WhyMommy tiara from MOMS Club, and my WhyMommy cape from Girl. Who did you think I’d be going as, SuperMom?