When I started blogging, I decided very consciously to blog anonymously. I would sit at my desk each day, putting words to paper, confident that the words on this blog, about my children and the everyday activities of raising little kids to be smart, curious, creative big kids, would remain a separate activity from my work-self, who was poised to go back to work any minute.
Boy, was I wrong! This blog has taken over a good part of my life and eventually become a chronicle of my fight with breast cancer. It has occupied many (too many?) of my waking thoughts and been an oasis in busy days of appointments and tasks, as well as in quiet days of rest and cuddles. It has become more than an “it.” It has become a “you.”
And that’s why I decided to “come out” and use my real name in the media interviews broadcast yesterday and published today. Because you encourage me so much, I want to give back and help the next woman who might be wondering about some funny symptoms. Who might be thinking about calling the doctor, but putting it off. Who knows that something “just isn’t right” but is so busy taking care of others that she forgets to take care of herself.
I started talking. First here, then elsewhere, and then to reporters. And now people are listening. But there’s one detail that is itching the back of my brain for which I need to ask your forgiveness.
I’ve blogged as WhyMommy. I’ve emailed you as Sam. Neither of those are my real name. Now that you know my real name, and more about me, and you’ve seen videos of my awkward, cancerous self in action, I need to know something … will you ever forgive me for not sharing it all before?