Once upon a time, the night before chemo was a wonderful night, a date night, full of laughing and candlelight and talks with my husband. Those nights, I felt the best I would feel in the 3-week cycle, and I was full of energy and happiness, mixed with just a little dread for the needles and nausea and exhaustion that would follow at the clinic the next day.
Now, however, on weekly chemo, my body doesn’t have the chance to fully recover between cycles. The side effects and exhaustion from the Taxol are said to last “8-11 days.” But I have infusions every 7 days. So I don’t fully recover between times.
It’s not so bad, usually, but I miss the carefree nights before chemo. For now I’m in the late stages of recovery from the last dose, the aches and the bone pain, and the pangs of nausea that linger, the appetite that can’t be tempted, and the chest pain that just. isn’t. going. away. It just makes things harder, that’s all.
And, truthfully, it makes me less excited about going to chemo tomorrow.
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Oh, Whymommy… I’m really sorry this has to be so hard… I can’t even begin to imagine.
BUT.
The tumour is shrinking.
And there are going to be many, many years ahead, just chock-full of candle-lit, romantic evenings with WonderDaddy.
I just know it.
Lots of love and a big ((hug)) CGF xo
Sending you good thoughts for chemo day tomorrow. I’m so sorry that you aren’t getting those hours of full recovery between treatment but I’m thrilled that tumor is shrinking!
“less excited about going to chemo tomorrow.” You mean cancer patients EVER get excited about going to chemo? Where have I been? And yes, it is incredibly wonderful that it is working, working, working. But it also sucks, sucks, sucks big time and how come you never swear? Are you keeping some bad words from our delicate eyes/ears/brains?
I hate that it has to be this rough. I really do.
I just wanted to let you know I’m still here, listening and praying this Chemo Eve, Chemo Day and Chemo New Year (which will bring about a happier new year). Good luck tomorrow WM.
(((hugs)))