My legs are healing. I’m able to walk again and use my legs. Only my right foot remains numb, but I am confident that will resolve in time to get chemo this week. I am confident. Thank you for your wonderful comments on yesterday’s post — I do need this safe space, even though I know now that friends and family and longago friends are reading here as well. I really don’t mean to worry you. . . but I do need to talk about all aspects of my fight here. As Kate said, this is my safe space, and some days I need to use it more than others. Here’s a better story for today.
Last night, while waiting for WonderDaddy to come home from work, my oldest was fidgety. We’d already played with play-doh, done puzzles, pretended to be in a rocket ship that was ready to blast off, and built forts out of pillows. Truth be told, we were both at loose ends, at the end of the afternoon. So we went outside to wait for Daddy to return from the Metro. A light fog blanketed the area, making it cool and misty, and giving an almost otherworldy aura to the night.
We talked about the weather and looked at our neighbor’s houses in the fog, but Widget was still fidgety.
We looked at our own house in the fog, but Widget was still fidgety.
We sat on the stoop and I began to hum a tune. Widget liked that. He looked up at me expectantly with those big blue eyes. So I stood up and sang him a dancing song. His eyes lit up and he began to dance. After a moment, I began to dance with him. The verses became sillier and sillier, and so did we. We were dancers, we were airplanes, we were weightless there in the misty evening.
When Daddy came home, he found us dancing in the rain, singing a silly made-up song together, and moving around like airplanes in slow motion. His eyes lit up too, happy to see me happy, and happy to see me feeling so much better than I had the past few days. He put down his laptop, dropped his work burdens, and began to dance with us. In the garage, in the rain, in the moment.
And for a moment, we were happy and carefree, dancing together in the rain.
Beautiful – thanks for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes. You are so good at seizing the joy! Wishing you many more such joyful times! You and your wonderful family SO deserve them!
This is lovely and made me smile on this dreary morning.
innnnn the rain.
Priceless. What a beautiful, spontaneous moment you have captured. You can recall it anytime you want. I know I will whenever I am in the fog and rain.
Those are the very best moments. What a lovely story!
What a great story!
I am happy to read that even for that moment, hopefully longer, you were happy!
I am also happy to hear that your legs are healing! Praying for chemo this week! 😉
A fidgety widget dancing in the rain, surrounded by love. What a beautiful moment and creative mommy! Laughter and silliness always seem to do the trick. Keep dancing, mama!
Dancing. That is a very good thing. And in the rain? Even better.
It’s those little moments that keep us ALL going.
Thank you for sharing that.
i’m so very sorry this has happened to you. i think of you often and have asked everyone i know to pray for you, you are such a strong person, and i am so proud to know you and to get to read your daily updates, to get to see your reality.
not that it’s some kind of consulation prize, but this post, today, i wonder if it would have happened, if last night was all different, if you were well, and still somewhat taking those moments for granted, like we all do. i just wonder. this was a gift to me today, and it sounds like it was a gift to your family.
may your courage, and strength, encourage you to share your worry and fear and tears as well as these blessed moments of weightless joy
Thank you for this
How awesome…the whole thing, feeling better and dancing in the rain. Two great stories.
Using My Words
Great news! Dancing in the rain is so special. “Those guys down there” shared the special moment with us yesterday! Hurray for rain. It can be so positive!
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
One day this past spring Princess and I were in a similar funk. It had rained and puddles were everywhere outside. I realized that she had never gone puddle jumping.
So we went outside and I taught her how to jump in puddles and make big splashes. It is so much fun letting loose and sharing fun little things with your baby! I’m always amazed at how it seems to change the world, if only for a few minutes.
Next up… snow angels!
A rain dance! Nice! Could you do a special one for your friends in Cali? I’m sure if it’s packed full of as much love and fun as yours was it will work it’s magic here where we need it so badly.
I found this poem on another blog I read and think you would benefit from it on your next sad day.
That is so powerful! And that is a moment that none of you will ever forget. Those are the moments that keep us going.
Thanks for the happy images! All very real and awesome…
sniff. How lovely. I’ve got tears in my eyes thinking about y’all.
Oh what fun, to dance in the rain! I’m so happy to hear that you’re starting to feel better. You are so strong!
Thank you for sharing your story and your heart with us! This made me want to dance even though we just got an ice storm. You are an inspiration, thank you for making me smile!
i can see it now, that scene, and it is beautiful. downright gorgeous.
We met briefly during a conference in Texas last March. You came with your LittleBear and I found it really cool that you were there nursing your baby and actively animating that proposal writing workshop at the same time. Considering the role you have played in enhancing young people participation in NASA, I was looking for your contact information in order to discuss with you the feasibility of implementing a few ideas that would make the life of new Mums easier when they go back to work after maternity leave and especially when they have to resume business traveling.
This is not the topic of my email today, though. Googling your name led me to thi webpage. I am very saddened to learn about your current situation. I am also impressed to see how you are dealing with it. You and I are the same age, I have a one-year old baby, and I come from a family of cancer-survivors. So I am very touched by your story. I admire your effort to educate people about breast cancer and especially IBC. I find your list of advice you give about helping cancer fighters just great. When my Mum had cancer a few years ago, we were 10,000 km apart. My sister took care of her most of the time. I did a few things to help, but felt really helpless being so far from her. When I read your list I realized that I could have done much more, just these simple things that can brighten that special person’s day.
When I read your posts, I can hear that same strong, smart, eloquent, engaged woman I met at the conference and with whom I would like to be in touch again. When you feel like it and have a bit of time we could discuss in further details that “Mummy goes on travel” project. In the meantime I definitely would like to become part of this wonderful Whymommy team. Please consider my help, let’s think more about this. Babysitting is not going to be that easy, but I will look at the ideas you have recently posted as a source of inspiration!
Count me on the team!
And like all your friends here, I am very happy to read that you are feeling much better today.
This is the BEST news I’ve heard all week. What a wonderful story…and very well told. We are glad you are feeling better!!!!
i’m going to sound trite saying this, and hope to god you’ll forgive me…but i think you really got to the core of something here, when you said “for a moment, we were happy and carefree, dancing together in the rain.”
i know it was only a moment, and too many of the moments around it are burdened, and it isn’t a fair lot, that one you’re carrying. but the truth is, none of us ever notice that we’re happy and carefree for more than a moment at a time.
which is maybe a sad and wistful thing. but it shows that you’re living well, for all the pain and fear of living with cancer. you are living moments of beauty with your little ones, and loving them, and making memories. which is as much as a moment can ever give.
well done, you.
Wishing you many more dances in the rain.
lots of love, CGF xo
I am so happy that today is better than yesterday. I hope that each day will be better and better. But if that is not always the case, please remember that all of us are thinking of you and are sending you positive energy daily!
What a beautiful post about a beautiful moment. Truly living and reveling in the moment. Good for you!
I’m so happy that you had this beautiful, silly memory on the heels of a not-so-fun day!
That is truly a special Christmas vision. I can imagine it like a tiny snow globe. You and your widget dancing and twirling in the winter evening. (It’s the middle of summer here in Australia so you have to forgive me my romantic notions of a cold winter Christmastime!) Thanks so much for sharing. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better today.
BEAUTIFUL!!! So happy that you had a good afternoon with your boys.
Am catching up with you here. Looks like you guys had a wonderful time later today. Sounds like you needed that.
Such a beautiful, magical and intimate story. Thank you for sharing.
“In the garage, in the rain, in the moment.”
I feel a glow inside reading those words…I can just see it all now…
My lovely. I have been here. Not commenting, cause I couldn’t say anything to ease the pain, nor express what I was feeling in any comprehensible way.
I am always here. But not commenting.
But this drew me out again. Cause Boo is crying. Cause I am crying. So I feel like I need to say something. Anything.
But nothing feels right. I can see you in my minds eye, playfully singing. I can see WonderDaddy and feel his heart skip a beat at the vision of his beautiful wife and child in a moment in time.
I can see it. I can feel it. I wish I was there to give you a huge hug and thank you for sharing these beautiful moments, and the down terrible times.
But I can’t. So, again, I send you a refill of those hugs.
YM, there is so much cheese dripping from the comments on this thread that my keyboard gets all gummed up. Do you force your posters to watch Steel Magnolias before typing or something? Sheesh.
What really needs to be known is how you managed to put out the ganja before the C-man showed up from work and joined your little dance. Come on girlfriend…tell the truth. 😀
I’ll never forget that.
Here’s wishing you rainbows and magic in the new year.
see, it isn’t always about being able to weather the storm…it’s about learning to dance in the rain. Bravo, WhyMomy. Bravo!
Oh, I will savor the beauty of this for quite some time.
i was feeling sorry for myself this morning. silly worries about silly stuff. then i read this. strength to you, you are amazing.
This was a special moment for us. As I finally could stand and walk without pain, it just felt so right to use that gift and dance with my little boy. I feel very lucky, and I’m happy to share the good moments here, with the bad, because that’s what makes a life.
Glad you all enjoyed it too.
P.S. Always the truth here, Cliff, always the truth ….
Hark! For I believeth you not.
This one made me cry. I cried because you were doing better, you were having fun, and because you were happy. I wish I could have a snapshot of the beautiful scene…WonderDaddy coming home to see his wife and children in the misty rain.
[…] top hat in that the caps just kept coming out. At the bottom was a CD of beautiful music for dancing together in the rain, and a note that made me cry. It was wonderful […]