Like every mom, I’m pressed for time. And like every mom, I have so much to do. Laundry. Dishes. Hugging my little boys tight. Helping them learn. Learning through play. Work. Learning through work. Teaching them a routine. Breaking the routine. Laughing. Catching snowflakes on our tounges. Introducing them to hot chocolate. With marshmellows. Preschool. Hugging away the tears, and smiling bravely when we say goodbye. Smiling again when we meet again after school. Cramming in two hours of work during preschool and the baby’s nap. Making plans.
As I said to Judy this morning, I have lots to do yet in this world. And so does she. Even though she’s having a terrible day today (she was just diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer), she has a lot left yet to do. I know she does. I can hear it in her voice. I want to be there for her. I want to support her and anyone else who comes along the internet and finds me with a new diagnosis of IBC. Because it is a terrible disease. But it’s one that can be fought. And the fight can be won. I know. I’m a survivor. I’m so close to beating this thing. 6 days (plus recovery and radiation), to be precise.
I can’t believe it’s so close and yet so far away. The days can’t go fast enough, in my mind, because the cancer is starting to rear its ugly head again. I’ve had shooting pains in my breast for a week now, and the breast has begun to swell. The nipple is retracting (Should I say that here? Why not? As I told Gunfighter, they’ll be gone next week) and I can tell that the cancer is beginning to grow again.
But it will not grow faster than I can fight it.
I have things yet to do. This spring alone, in addition to raising my boys, I have to plan that conference breakfast, begin work on my new NASA grant, get that article in the Post, and make plans for the rest of my life. Because it’s going to be a long, happy, and productive one.
Of that, I am sure.
Little Bear and the boys’ house. Even though he mostly likes to put the furniture down the stairs, he loves to play with it. And I think that’s pretty neat. I want to be there as he learns to do pretend play too.
Reason #6 for looking forward to surgery: Because I’m not done yet!