There’s a guided imagery exercise that walks the listener through a beautiful meadow, across a bridge, and down to a pond where the cool breeze blows. Today, at an event at The Wellness Community, we were invited to leave something in a basket by the side of the bridge. The idea is to leave a worry, a concern, or something that’s been bothering us a lot lately. When we were guided back through the area, we could then choose whether to pick it up or leave it there, and move on without it.
I left my worries about Paget’s disease there by the bridge today. I’ve been really worried about this second occurence of cancer, and probably uncessarily so, since it was completely cut out during my surgery two weeks ago.
I don’t know why it’s been so hard for me to handle, but it has. I’ve been worried and stressed and achy from the surgery and not sleeping well at night. This has probably been one of the hardest weeks ever, since I can’t pick up my babies or build castles with them or push them on the swings. I feel so … helpless. And that messes everything else up, because I don’t want to accomplish all those other things on my list (even catching up with email and other tasks on the computer that I could probably do, except for the fact that it’s hard to type with my right hand right now because of the pain under my arm) if I can’t be there for my kids, and take care of myself.
For cryin’ out loud, I can’t even get the cereal down from the (top) shelf by myself in the morning. I feel like I always have to ask for help, and it’s getting old. Really old.
But today I left Paget’s disease behind. It’s no longer a worry of mine.
Paget’s is in the basket, and it’s not in my heart anymore.
Thanks to Angela of Laudat for the link to the guided imagery podcasts on Kaiser’s web site. I haven’t tried them yet, but since you recommend them, I will soon.