So often, when a loved one becomes sick, friends and family feel helpless. They don’t know what to do. They don’t know how to help. They feel … adrift, without any concrete action to take. I’ve suggested things before that can help you help a friend. (To that list, I add: find soft button down shirts or cute zip hoodies for mastectomy patients to wear during recovery and radiation. Oh, the sunburn.) But recently I happened upon some even better advice.