Radiation: Week 6

Radiation: Week 6 has been incredibly different from Week 5.  Although I felt great all the way through Week 5 and the first part of this week, getting better and stronger with each day post-surgery, starting on Thursday, I just crashed.

Just. Crashed.

I’ve been sleeping most of the time since then, coming up for lunch with my kids or a twitter-break to break the monotony of my bedroom/boredom, but really it’s not going well.

The radiation burns are intense, hot and red and angry, and even the soothing cream sizzles when I apply it, making a foul stench that is unavoidably me.

The blisters are rising, popping up all over my chest, particularly in the darker areas hidden by shirts.  So, I look fine from the outside, but hurt underneath.

The skin under my arm, where I didn’t realize I was even getting radiation until it was unavoidably burned, sloughed off in the shower when I touched it, and is raw and red and angry.

My radiation oncologist doesn’t like the look of it, and, like Angela, I’m under orders to “sit on the couch with my right arm raised or on a bunch of pillows all weekend.”  Um, really?  With two kids and a new contract?  We’ve settled for me sleeping with my arm raised instead. 

And there’s a lot of sleeping.  I’m just so very tired, from my 6 week sunburn and all the cancer fighting and also, I’m sure, just being a mom.  A mom who had help around the house this week (thank you, Grandma and Grandpa!), but a mom who did it all by herself last week and who by now is just really, really tired.

Tired. Of. Cancer. 

I’m sorry this post isn’t more witty or brief.  I didn’t think I could write about it at all.  I hate being grumpy and sad and tired, but, today, that’s where we are.

In memoriam: Marilyn Nachman, IBC fighter. 

26 Responses to Radiation: Week 6

  1. oh, babe. i’m thinking about you and hoping that some of these nasty side effects pass SOON.


  2. Sweet whymommy… bring the grumping and the crashing and the tiredness here anytime, and let us try and wrap some love and some light around you.

    It just sounds so rough on you… let’s hope it’s a hundred times rougher on that damn cancer.

  3. Anyone in your position would be grumpy, and there is certainly no reason to apologize. You’re doing so many difficult things all at once, and being tired sounds inevitable.

    Unload it here, we’re always willing to listen–a girl’s gotta vent! I am sending all my best wishes, prayers, and good thoughts.


  4. justenjoyhim says:

    Oh, it’s OK to be tired of it. And grumpy and everything else. Just be what you are, what you feel. Sheesh, what you’ve been through; I’m surprised you’re not railing more than you are/have been.

    *tender hugs* so as not to ouchy the burned areas.

  5. As the previous commenters have said, when you’re feeling as miserable as that, witty isn’t necessary. How you’re really feeling is what you need to express. I’m so sorry it’s such a rough time for you, and really hope there will be good results from this radiation treatment.

  6. Christy says:

    Well…as you are sitting with your arm elevated, just pretend you are nursing a sunburn while relaxing at the beach.

    I know. Tough to do that. But it would be a good excuse for a Pina Colada (virgin or not)!

    Fell better soon!

  7. Bon says:

    ouch. ouch. that sounds so sore, and so exhausting. just holding you close, tired one, sending prayers and wishes that it gets easier soon and that your poor skin gets its chance to heal, too, just as the rest of you is.

  8. Oh, sweetie… What Kate said.

    Thinking of you tonight, as always.

    xoxo CGF

  9. Katherine says:

    Be grumpy and tired. Radiation’s energy draining powers are more cumulative than chemo’s. It sucks but it’s true. Let yourself off the hook here. You are plenty witty and we would never wish you brief.

  10. Stimey says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this. You have every right to be tired of all of it. Love to you…

  11. MammaLoves says:

    I wouldn’t think you were for real if you didn’t complain. What you’re going through is horrible. You have every right to get frustrated and tired and MAD.

    Get rest my friend. Keep that arm up. And don’t forget we have your back.

  12. Robin says:

    I’m sorry WM. I wish the “of course it’s better than the alternative” side of cancer didn’t still have to suck so much.

    Much love and gentle hugs,

  13. Oh my lovely, major suckage. Sending healing vibes for the radiation burns and energy vibes for the rest.

    Smootches to one of my favourite girls.

  14. Leanne says:

    {{gentle hugs, totally avoiding putting pressure on all sensitive areas}}

    I wish I could do more than that.

  15. You are allowed to be GRUMPY!! You are allowed to vent. Cheery isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    Take the time you need and rest… I’m sorry your skin is sooo sore. I wish I had a magic cream that would make it all better.


  16. Sarah S. says:

    Sorry you are feelingso bad Susan. Sending lots of gentle hugs! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep resting it will get better:)

  17. Miz S says:

    I’m glad you have a place to vent. You have every reason to feel grumpy, sad, and tired. I’m so glad you have some help from family members.

  18. Robin says:

    Sweet dreams that the sunburn is from a vacation in the islands that you take with your family 10 years from now 🙂

  19. deb says:

    You’re allowed to feel tired and grumpy. And allowed to vent about it as well. Sending you a hug and good wishes.

  20. Kacy says:

    We wouldn`t want you to be witty – just be strong.

  21. momunplugged says:

    I haven’t said hi in a while, although I have been lurking…and thinking of you. Just wanted you to know that I am still sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

  22. carosgram says:

    No apology needed. Fighting cancer is both physically and emotionally exhausting. Hopefully we can give you some emotional support to help in this fight. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

  23. Anne says:

    Don’t apologize. Go ahead and get the grumpies out.

    And keep on fighting – we’re all pulling for you and your babies and husband.

  24. whymommy says:

    Thank you. Am exhausted. Slept all day again today. Really don’t want to go to radiation tomorrow … but I suppose I should.

  25. […] Am not better today.  Am worse.  Am so, so very tired.  And there’s a strange recurring pain in my chest […]

  26. KDF says:

    Argh. Hope it gets better, wm. And complain away… you have every right.

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