All afternoon, I debated whether to take a walk or take a nap. I stumbled through my everyday chores, loads of laundry and the like, and tried to ignore the exhaustion that’s been piling up for the past few days. I’ve been functioning normally, whatever that means, but I still have a hard time if I don’t take an afternoon nap when the boys do. (All of which is a huge improvement. When I went from three naps a day to one about a week ago, I cheered!)
So I muddled through the afternoon, cleaning the kitchen and making bread, until finally Little Bear woke up. Screaming. Inconsolable. He wasn’t wet, wasn’t hungry, wasn’t just aching for arms to hold him. He tossed the proffered cracker aside in disdain. He threw his milk to the floor, and cried, and cried, and cried. Nothing, not even a banana (which he normally digs into, chubby hands holding it tight, stuffing his face inside the peel to get the very last bits before mom peels it more, delight — and banana strings — on his face) would tempt him today.
You know what I’m talking about. A crabby baby.
So I scooped him up in my left arm and took him for a walk. Outside, in the cool after-rain air, we walked and walked. He settled down, cooing at the brightly colored azaleas that lined our path. He pointed at the squirrels that scampered, and chirped at his friends the birds. We even stopped to watch a bunny, close to our path, and the two of them looked at each other for a long while. Little Bear and I walked, and walked, and we both became less restless and more ourselves again.
By the time we got back home, I was relaxed and ready to play Chutes and Ladders with his big brother. To roll across the floor with Bear and giggle. To help Daddy make a quick dinner before baths and bed. Little Bear was happier, although still not content, and we had both gotten some fresh air for the day. (Widget sighs happily when he steps outside now: “Ahhhh. Fresh air!” Cutie.)
Two miles. Thanks, Little Bear. As always, you boys inspire me to fight this thing.
Speaking of gratitude … I owe online thanks to Julie Pippert, for the amazing aloe lotion that she sent me to help me heal from the radiation. To Sarah and to Canape, for sweet little camisoles that I could never wear before, and to Nancy, for a baby gift so long ago that I’m embarrassed I never sent an online public thank you. You’re some of the greatest moms I know, and it’s been so much fun becoming your friend over the past couple years!
And now to two new friends … Kim, of Herding Cats and the Congenital Heart Defect Blog, has sent me an award that she received from Emily of Lovely and Amazing. A peek at those links will take you into another world, another part of the blogosphere that, I’m ashamed to say, I haven’t really been around much. But I am so proud of these moms for chronicling their lives and speaking out on behalf of their children. For educating us, and for sharing the wonderful moments and the hard ones. Instead of passing on the blog award, though, I’d like to recommend that you all click back and visit Emily and Kim, and mention them on your sites if you want. These are some strong, beautiful moms.
Happy Mother’s Day!