All my favorite things

I was not at peace last night.  I put the baby down, kissed my preschooler goodnight, and tossed and turned for hours even after taking a pain pill and one of the precious few sleeping pills that remain.  I read, I wrote, I watched Jon Stewart; all the things I used to do before my preschooler needed my help going to sleep every night.  I petted and cuddled the dog, but it wasn’t enough.

Just as I was dropping off to sleep, sharp cries from the nursery pulled me out of my funk.  My baby was not only awake (no, you may NOT watch Stephen Colbert,  honey), but sick.  Chunky white vomit covered his blue turtle pajamas, his little red hands, and his soft sheep sheets.  It was everywhere, and he was mad.

As I cleaned him up and cuddled him close, I realized that there were much worse things in this world than being sick — having a sick child, for instance, or not having him at all.  So I wiped him off carefully with a soft washcloth, cuddled him in a towel while he calmed down, and gave thanks for him.  For no matter what happens to me, there is a Little Bear in this world because of me, and he may do great things.  I will be strong for him.

Daddy came in with Widget, then, and helped me clean up the mess and the baby as he threw up again, and eventually we all went back to sleep, cuddled in two beds, all mixed up, but comforting one another through a difficult night.

This morning I remembered my gratitude as I woke, ready for a day of puttering around the house and waiting for 2:00 to come.  Widget and I did laundry, painted a birdhouse, cleaned the kitchen, and did all the things that mommies and little children do on an ordinary day.  Then we played baseball outside with Little Bear wandering through and around the bases, feeling better just in time for his own appointment at noon.  We’re going to be okay.  We’re all going to be okay.

(The title of this post comes from Widget, at 9:00 this morning, as he hopped into Mommy’s bed with my book and a bag of smartfood popcorn that he lifted from the pantry downstairs.  “Look, Mommy,” he said as I walked in after changing his brother’s diaper, “Come sit with me.  I have all your favorite things.”  And, as I surveyed the scene, dog, pillows, preschooler, book, popcorn, and all, I looked down in my arms at my littlest one and realized that he was right.  With the exception of Daddy, working downstairs in his office, we were all set.  Right there in front of me were all my favorite things.)

We’re going to be okay.  We’re in this together.

31 Responses to All my favorite things

  1. Laurie says:

    This post made me a little weepy. And I have the very same favourite things. Hoping hard for good results for you. xo

  2. You couldn’t be more right. Hoping for good results…

  3. Nancy says:

    You are blessed for sure. Thinking of you.

  4. I am hoping and praying for good results this afternoon so that you and all your favorite things can enjoy a well-deserved, carefree summer.

  5. LoveyH says:

    You will be fine, the results will be good, and you will return to your favorite things!
    Best luck today. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ll be checking on you tonight – and praying for you all today.

  6. You are just amazing. More good news this afternoon….

  7. MotherBunker says:

    There are such lessons to be learned in your posts — as my toddler would say, “Mommy, I think it’s beautiful.”

  8. moonlight greetings says:

    You are very brave and have such clarity about
    your life and what is important. Keeping you in
    my thoughts and prayers for good results today.

  9. Thinking of you, right at this moment. 2:03 and willing good news your way.

  10. Jyber says:

    Susan,

    You are the opposite of a whiner! Who else would be grateful in the midst of vomit and anxiety about scans? What a beautiful character you show. Please take some time to be proud of yourself for how you are handling the latest challenges.

    It is 2:15 PM as I type this and I am trying my best to send good vibes to you at your appointment. Hoping you can celebrate some good news tonight.

    Jyber/Joan

  11. You DO have all your favourite things with you.

    And you’ve got us, right behind you, every step of the way!!

    Thinking of you, Susan–

    xoxo CGF and Girlies 3

  12. Kat says:

    You’ll be okay…no matter what. You are strong. No doubt about it.

    Hugs!
    Kat

  13. Lauren says:

    This was truly a beautiful post and brought tears to my eyes. I think you are right in that you all will be ok because you are already more than ok. Still sending prayers your way for good news.

  14. debi says:

    Praying 4 you. Waiting and checking back. And praying some more.

  15. Adam says:

    Life is wonderful and tragic at the same time. Being present and truly living in this reality is a great challenge, it’s very powerful to know, see or hear of people doing this. Thank you for sharing your life.

    Adam

    http://adam-finch.eachday.com

  16. motherofbun says:

    Just checking in to see how you all are doing. Hope you get some good news soon. And hope your little man is feeling better too!

  17. Loved this post. Thank you for your clarity and honesty. Thinking about you a lot today.
    xoxo

  18. carosgram says:

    Thinking of you and praying for the best

  19. Elizabeth says:

    thinking of you

  20. Becki says:

    Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the “this” and forget about the “together.” But no matter what “this” turns out to be, you have a whole lot of “together”–not just your wonderful family, but all of us out here who care about you. We can’t carry anything for you, but we can care about you.

  21. Dee says:

    ….thinking of you right this minute..and the next…

  22. Thinking of you, and hoping all is well.

  23. NoRegrets says:

    Oh, how nice. and so glad the response is positive, wait, um I mean negative! :-0)

  24. Aw crap, I’m all teary. That is the sweetest post. I wish you and your family all the best.

  25. Ally says:

    Oh, your observant and thoughtful little boy. Your favorite things indeed. (Minus the chunky barf parts).

  26. Kim says:

    this is a beautiful post.

  27. […] list of this month’s winners: Suburban Turmoil awarded My Tiny Kingdom Tech Savvy Mama awarded Toddler Planet Party of Five awarded Building a Bakery Whiskey in My Sippy Cup awarded Nuclear Family Warhead The […]

  28. Rachael says:

    What a beautiful post – got here through the perfect post awards, and I know when I start reading them there will always be one or two that will make me cry, and today it was you. Isn’t being surrounded by your favorite things just wonderful?

  29. […] THANK YOU to TechSavvyMama for nominating me for this month’s Perfect Post awards! She chose All My Favorite Things, an essay I wrote after a particularly trying night. Thanks, TechSavvyMama, and everyone who left a […]

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