First CT scan

I go in for my CT scan in just a few hours. This is a full-body organ and tissue scan that will catch lumps of cancer anywhere it may have spread. I’m not nearly as nervous as I thought I’d be at this point. I thought I would be panicky, but I’m actually calm. I know it’s not in my bones, and I’m finally starting to feel better again. I’ve spent the last few days with my kids, and the nights working on my NASA contract. It’s all starting to come together again, as impossible as that seemed just a few days ago.

I even bought my airplane ticket to BlogHer and sent in my bio for the program. I cannot BELIEVE how amazing the line up is this year. Registration closes tomorrow, so if you’re a blogger still on the fence about going, take a look at the agenda again. It’s awesome.

I cleaned out my closets with the nervous energy that arrived without invitation, and I just packed the front hall full of baby gear for the local children’s charity.

I went blueberry picking with my husband and children, and we ate handfuls of the tart/sweet fruit straight out of the bucket.

I drew mazes on the driveway for my 3 year old to navigate, and clasped my 1 year old to my chest tightly as we both cried over his first skinned knee.

I let my kids stay up late to catch fireflies, chasing them in the brightness that comes just before dark.

I read my boys stories, over and over, when I got too tired to run around and “catch flies” with them outside, or hunt spiders, or toss the football around in the park.

I reveled in my luck, to be able to toss a football around in the park again, and to teach my kid how to pass and catch, and run — really run — for a touchdown.

I ate picnics in the park.  Twice.  A blanket, a tree, a pb&j, a bag of shredded carrots, and an orange for each of us.  Sticky sweet summer fun.

I went downtown for a day of work, and I came home reenergized for the work I do at home.

I made plans for the weekend, and plans for July, and plans for September.  Without cringing or worrying about nonrefundable costs or what-if-i-get-bad-news scenarios.

I even cooked brownies tonight. Butterscotch brownies.  Yum.

Oh, and I caught up on some reviews I’ve been meaning to write. Click on over to Review Planet if you’re interested in hearing about the new Leapfrog Tag learning system; books for grownups, parents, and kids; or a new kids’ TV show on PBS that we were happy to learn about.

I go for my test tomorrow,

But I’m not worried.

For I got to do everything on this list this week.

And I know now how lucky I am.

A great big THANK YOU to TechSavvyMama for nominating me for this month’s Perfect Post awards! She chose All My Favorite Things, an essay I wrote after a particularly trying night. Thanks, TechSavvyMama, and everyone who left a nice comment on that one. It helped.


19 Responses to First CT scan

  1. Bubba's Sis says:

    Praying…and anxiously awaiting results! I know they will be good!

  2. jillaldrich says:

    You sound absolutely fabulous.

    Let me know if you’re up for brunch on Sunday before your flight. Would love to meet you and celebrate your good news.


  3. whymommy says:

    Jill, I am so very up for brunch! I’m hoping that some of the other MWC can join us too!

  4. Angeline says:

    You sound really calm! Good for you!

  5. mod*mom says:

    sounds like a wonderful day susan!

    awesome about your clear bones 🙂
    try to think of your ct scan like a spa treatment 🙂
    (that’s what i always do–i never get to real spas)

    i’ll be looking for you + your talk at blogher!
    i have wavy hair now from chemo (actually it’s matted into a few dreadlocks, because i won’t trim it since it grew back from chemo. at least til after blogher)

    thank you for inviting me to contribute to mwb,
    i’d be honored 🙂

  6. Jen Costiganj says:

    I’ve been perusing your site and the sites of your friends and want to send along the site of a good friend of mine who is fighting for her life. Her story is amazing and her insights are inspiring, please check it out:

  7. bcjenster says:

    Sounds like a beautiful week!

    I’ll be thinking of you today.

  8. sprucehillfarm says:

    Good luck today!
    It sounds like you had a great week!

  9. WhyMommy says:

    Jen, I will certainly visit your friend. Thank you for the link.

    Mod*Mom, I am SO EXCITED that you’ll be joining us at MWC. We’re a fun group, and I think you’ll enjoy meeting everyone and posting as you feel moved to do so.


    The test was easy peasy this morning, by the way. I’m already home, working on the front porch while the baby naps. Results tomorrow.

  10. Girlfriend: Fireflies??! Picnics???!! Stories???!!!! And BROWNIES?!!!!!

    We are SO packing our stuff and coming over to YOUR house to play.

    Thinking of you today, as always!!

    CGF and Girlies 3 xoxoxo

  11. Robin says:

    I can’t believe it’s that time of year again! I remember meeting you in 2nd life – when you were trying on your bald head and tiara. 🙂

  12. byjane says:

    I’m looking forward to meeting you at BlogHer.

  13. Nicole says:

    Hey- just checking in to tell you I’m thinking of you and am thinking good thoughts for you 🙂

    You know how much I like Blueberries, especially BananaBlueberries- so I think that’s a good sign that you picked some !!!!!

    Good karma 🙂

  14. NYfriend says:

    Love, love your “to-do list” this week! (except the skinned knee, of course, poor baby) Ironically we just had butterscotch brownies this week too – courtesy of Gram. 🙂 And DD has been yelling “Summer Fruit” the past few days about the yummy peaches, though she only licks them! Ah, sticky sweet summer fun indeed. 🙂

    Looking forward to August plans. 😉

  15. You have more fun than I do 🙂 You are going to have so much fun at BlogHer, I am infinitely jealous of all the girls that will get to give you a hug for real!

  16. Laurie says:

    Yes! I love those days that remind us of how good it feels to be healthy and strong!

  17. Kim McNaughton says:

    Hello, I have been following your blog for about a year now and have learned so much from you. Today I received an email from my friend in Calgary Alberta (Canada) which I was trying to forward to you (but could not find an email address) with the clip from KOMO2 on IBC. Word is spreading – even in Canada. Thanks for sharing and best wishes for you and your family.

  18. Glad you had a great week and it was pleasure to give you June’s Perfect Post award for All My Favorite Things!

  19. Ally says:

    Your week sounds amazing. I am always in awe of how much you do in a week, and how you focus so well on the things that really matter. xoxo

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