A mama’s pride

These are the things I almost missed:

Little Bear walking, running, climbing (up the playset!), sliding (down the slide!), pushing his lawnmower and grocery cart, scooting along on his big wheel, laughing as he dings the bell of his fire truck.

Widget laughing, sharing, sitting still to make art projects, enjoying school, making up stories, whispering his dreams to me, coming up with good ideas about what to do next (let’s go to Goddard Space Center, Mommy!), and getting ready for his adventure birthday party (does anyone know where to buy magnifiying glasses, by the way?).

Little Bear AND Widget playing together, with matchbox cars or toy train tracks, outside in the back yard, downstairs with blocks and in a cardboard box and making up games (You do this, Bear, and I’ll do that), and running and crawling and laughing and falling all over each other.

These are the things I got to see just this month.

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Little Bear has also developed into quite the little scientist, lining up his matchbox cars on the track, pushing buttons on the remote controls (and the wii, and the telephones, and the tv, and the kindle, and basically anything that looks like it could be interesting inside) to see what they do, dropping things to see if they break, climbing onto chairs and benches to “read” books or play with a little toy, and bending over/around/inside the sink/closet/toy fire truck to see how things work and if by any chance he could make them work better.

I think.

I’m going to have to keep a close eye on that one.

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I’ve been a bit stressed out lately, trying to do it all. But I need to remember to enjoy the moment, to cherish this time with my kids, to do good work, and to take satisfaction in whatever I can do for my community, without beating myself up over it too much. After all, I’m a mom. I’m a volunteer. I’m a worker. But I’m also a person, with interests and joys and loves that need to be factored in to daily life as well.

It’s tough some days … I can’t be everything at once.  When I get stressed out, I have to remember: priorities. When I was sick, my priorities became very clear:  Family. Friends. Helping others. Meaningful work. Going to bed tired, but a “good tired.”

I’m trying to remember those priorities and live by them, now that I’m (gulp) “well.”

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The words aren’t coming today.  They’re not lining up in little rows, one after the other, and saying what I want them to say.  They’re hiding, haltingly peeking out from behind their meanings, and I don’t know that any of this post is really what I wanted to say.  Except the part about the children.  The little boys.  They are my wonders, they are my joy, they are my life.

And I’m pretty sure that no matter who else I am, I am their mommy.  I’ve never gone wrong immersing myselves (wow, that’s either a typo or an awesome freudian slip)  in their world, being the mountain for them to climb on, the great bear chasing them through the spooky forest, the storyteller and dreamweaver with books and flashlight and imagination in the dark of night.  I’m their mom.  It starts there, and it ends there.  And no matter what else may come in between (today it’s doctors and work), my heart belongs to my (three) boys.

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