Yesterday, after I wrote that post, I tried to shovel through another day of errands, laundry, and never ending chores, and then I sat down on the floor and played trains with my kids.
It wasn’t much.
It sure wasn’t all they deserved.
But it was the first step toward being grateful again for what I have, not mourning the cancer-free life that I wish I had.
I’ve been angry this week, mourning the loss of so much over the past year, and I thank you (blogfriends and playgroup friends alike) for hanging in there with me as I deal with it.
As my doctor said today, “You were bound to crumble. Everybody crumbles. The difference is, they usually crumble at diagnosis. You didn’t. You were so determined, the day I met you. You dug your heels in and refused to lose this fight. It never had a chance against you. And you beat it. It’s gone. You have kids — let me tell it to you this way. This is just a phase.”
Not a sentence.
A phase. I’m going to do my best to grow out of this.