One year later, tomorrow is but a memory.
One year after my surgery, I am whole again. Still.
One year passed since my double mastectomy; my body is healing and becoming stronger every day.
One year after the last cancer left my body, I go days without obsessing about what may come.
One year later, I am not looking back, but looking forward.
If I did look back, this is what I’d see:
Nineteen months ago, I was diagnosed with cancer.
Sixteen months ago, I thought I’d never see the spring.
Fourteen months ago, I lost the use of both my legs.
Thirteen months ago, I was too weak to have chemo.
Twelve months ago, I lost my breasts.
Ten months ago, I developed lymphedema in my arm and hand.
Eight months ago, I suffered through daily radiation.
Five months ago, I gave up my ovaries.
Four months ago, I began walking in the morning with my friends.
Three months ago, I made changes to my diet, as if I could live forever.
Two months ago, I ran my first race since childhood, and I have plans for more this spring.
One month ago, I celebrated Christmas with my family, twice, and put up a tree, and helped the children decorate it — which I couldn’t do last year, or the year before.
Three weeks ago, I spent several days in a row working, and made great progress on a long-term project.
Two weeks ago, I served on a NASA review panel and made connections I might need later.
One week ago, I held a party for friends and playdates and didn’t once think about the cancer.
Today, the anniversary of the date I prayed for and tried not to fear, I spent doing the little things. Making french toast for breakfast. Taking Widget to preschool. Playing on the floor with Little Bear (and helping him put the flashlights he took apart back together). Grocery shopping.
It was just another day.
And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Realizing that it’s impossible to live each day as if it were your last. Just living. Every. day.
And realizing how lucky we are to have today.
Happy Anniversary, Team WhyMommy. Thank you again for all your support and love during the year I had cancer. You, my friends, family, and doctors, made all the difference.
One year later, I will never forget.