I panicked.  I’ll admit it.  It’s not my style to say no so abruptly.  I don’t raise my voice with my kids.  But I panicked, seeing danger, and I was absolutely terrified.

My toddler had wandered over to the Please Touch room at the Nature Center, and I could see the germs hiding, ready to pounce on his chubby little fingers the second he walked in and grabbed the books, the puzzles, the microscope.  The stuffed animals and puppets lurked in a basket o’ filth on the floor, baring their teeth at me (and only me).  I knew how this would end, and in that second, I  flushed, drenched in fear, visions of ER visits flashing at me in some sixth sense, not quite right, and yet more pressing than the reality:  A toddler, walking into a room of toys that other children had played with.  A preschooler behind him.  A healthy mom two steps behind them … and I knew I should let them go.

I relaxed, relented, and said, “Go ahead, kids.  It’s okay.”  Because now, it is okay.  I’m healthy again, and my immune system is healthy enough to fight most germs (although it is still quite suppressed, and we do avoid unnecessary germs and wash hands religiously around here).   A cold won’t send me to the ER this year (it would have been disaster last year, during chemo).  It won’t.  I’m okay.  I have to remember that.

Because this afternoon, at the Nature Center, I forgot … but I am well again, and the children can play.


10 Responses to Germs

  1. mrs.chicken says:

    of course you forgot.

    But then you remembered.

  2. sprucehillfarm says:

    Those places still make me cringe! all the germs Yuck! I am glad you do not have to worry so much now 🙂

  3. kgirl says:

    Well, some things are just gross, period. I guess that’s what Purell is for.

  4. Stacy says:

    I was 16 when my dad went through chemo for Hodgkins and it was a long winter of obsessive hand-washing. Almost 15 years later as a parent, I’m still a crazy OCD hand-washer and I do fear those Mall Cess-Pool playgrounds and the baby gym and the play areas at Chick Fil A, but alas, kids must be kids and we must be moms… armed with Purell and Sani-Wipes.
    I’m glad you are able to enjoy some of the basics in life again without the worry you had so recently.

  5. MotherOfBun says:

    Not to sound like a Virginia Slims commercial (from what, a million years ago) but… You’ve come a long way, baby! 🙂

  6. Ally says:

    So many changes in a year’s time. I’m amazed that you were able to control the “NOOO” so quickly and change it to a “that’s okay.” Good on ya.

  7. whymommy says:

    Thanks! It made me laugh, when I realized what had happened. And my best friend, God bless her, didn’t blink, even when I sat there in the tiny chair, amazed at all the nature-y goodness surrounding us in the forbidden room.

  8. And one day soon you will forget to worry.

    I can’t wait for that day.

  9. This is a great milestone to reach. And yet that felt weird to write. Wheee! You got to play with germs! Uh, Yay!
    All joking aside, I am really glad that you and the kids get to enjoy this part of being out and about.

  10. NoRegrets says:

    Glad you are at this spot.

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