I get asked sometimes, “Why can’t you move on? You’re so much more than cancer.” Or “Why do you say you’re in remission, and not cured?” It’s hard to answer that, but it often comes back to the fact that I’m not cured, it will probably come back, and even if it doesn’t, it will still keep infecting people, attacking the bodies of my friends, and it will stop at nothing to get its way.
Cancer will stop at nothing to get its way. And I have to keep fighting back.
I will add that it’s a common feeling — once it’s got you, it often has a hold on you. My friend Rivka puts it into words today, in a way that I think you should read. Go on, read it. It’s okay. I’ll be here when you get back.