I feel so 2008 writing about off-kilter marketing pitches for blogs, but this one takes the cake.
Check out what I found in my email box (you know, that box crammed full of THINGS TO DO and letters I’m invariably BEHIND ON?) this week:
I hope all is well and you are enjoying your week! I’ve included an idea below I thought this would be a perfect fit for your BlogHer readers — the “vertical” movement is on the rise and <<redacted>> provides the perfect record-breaking endurance sport for all. I thought this would be a great feature/trend piece for you….
Hmmm…. where to even start?
First of all, people reading here are not necessarily BlogHer readers. I mean, I hope you are, since BlogHer is an incredible collaborative of amazing women writers, with several new articles that make you laugh, cry, or think every day, but really? That’s a different site.
Second, I doubt you come here to looking for new “record-breaking endurance sports.” Other than the 504 times I have to take a chemo pill this Fall. Which could be called an endurance sport, I suppose, but hardly record-breaking.
Third, I may be many things, but no one has ever called this astrophysicist/mom trendy.
Ooh, and did I forget? All is not well. I have cancer!!!
Not only will this stair climb be held at the tallest building in the western hemisphere, participants will be given the option of two modes of doing the climb. They either scale the 103 floors of Willis Tower, or 2,109 steps by foot — or…
Oh, you had me at 2109 steps by foot! Seeing as how I’m not strong enough yet to walk around the block alone, I seriously doubt my oncologist would approve trying to scale 103 floors OR 2109 steps by foot. I suppose I could ask her next week, though, since the PR person writing to me today thinks this would be such “a perfect fit” for my blog.
Now’s the perfect time for your readers to learn about this great record breaking event in their own backyard…
Their own backyard? Your event is in Chicago. I write in Washington, D.C. My readers are all over the world.
Why do bloggers complain about poorly targeted pitches? Because this is the kind of thing we get. Oh, that and invitations to try out “shapewear to flatter every figure,” tampons that also balance your pH, and baby and nursing items. There are many, many bloggers who would love this sort of thing — but if you’re constantly sending those invitations to a postmenopausal blogger with no bust, you might just be doing it wrong.