It’s Friday, and that always makes me want to wrap things up in a pretty bow and call them “done.” (Even though I get most of my work done during my workhorse Saturday and Sundays, when my husband is in charge of the house and kids.) Anyway, here’s how things went down, week 4 of #chemo2010.
A week ago, I participated in a special NASA event celebrating the 25th anniversary of the first comet encounter. I went casual, in black pants and my BlogHer/Gap black cardi, and had a wonderful time seeing old friends and colleagues, hearing about space history, and getting briefed about the next two comet encounters (4 November and 14 Feburary) as well. I livetweeted it, with NASA’s blessing, and intend to write about it — right after I add it to that chapter in my book. (So, next week?) I was back in time to pick the kids up from school, and I felt GREAT.
Five days ago, we met a mom of one of Little Bear’s little friends at the park for lunch. It was a lovely break, if a little surreal to be hanging out at the park again talking playgroups with the mom of a toddler and a preschooler. Mine are so much bigger now…. We ran and laughed on the playground, and I pushed them on the swings.
Four days ago, I went to the oncologist and was cleared to start Cycle 2 of chemo. Of course, the pharmacy had a snafu, and the pills weren’t ready. So we went out to dinner instead. YUM.
Three days ago, the kids and I campaigned for a dear friend, Aimee Olivo, waving signs, talking to voters (me), and generally looking adorable (them). We stopped by the pharmacy on the way home and I took my chemo after the kids went to bed.
Two days ago, I sloooooooooowed way down, feeling weak and tired, even though we hadn’t planned much for the day. I lost my appetite completely, and just concentrated on writing quietly for the day. I finished my work, picked up the kids, and took them to the park after school. I sat on the bench with the moms, and picked up chicken from the deli on the way home. I didn’t want to, but I kept taking my chemo pills.
Yesterday, I crashed. My bones ache. My stomach hurts. The nausea is back and wouldn’t leave at all yesterday. I feel … weak, which makes me feel even worse. I called “uncle,” called friends who would take the kids after school, accepted dinner from another friend, called rescue to find a new place for the puppy, and called my parents to come down and help me this weekend. Then, back to bed. #Chemo2010 SUCKS and I HATE it and I most of all despise feeling WEAK.
All I can do is write, but I have to look on the bright side. I still CAN write and CAN think and this chemo will not affect that AT ALL. It makes me tired, but I can work through it, and feel good about still contributing to space science. (In fact, I published on WPS, talked to a science journalist about presenting research online for broader science impact, and had a space history article selected for publication just this week!) Chemo2010 sucks, but I WILL NOT let it dictate my life.