In all we do these days, we are striving for normalcy for the children. We have breakfast as a family, get the kids off to school together, and then I rest and/or write until it’s time for the kids to come home. I’m always up and ready with a project (yesterday: cleaning up the old fish tank!) and we do that until dinner or until I’m exhausted, at which point we let them have a little tv. I sleep until dinner (if i can eat) and then always, always get up to kiss them goodnight and put them to bed (of course we take turns normally, but these days I do it if I’m up to it). The very routine is magical to me, and each day is another that I get to spend with my children and help them grow up. A gift. And each night, we thank God together for the gift of that day, and I ask Him, aloud with the kids or silently later, to “please heal Mommy.”
Already, I am coming to acceptance of this as the new normal, the chemo normal, and I’m learning not to rage at the hours I must spend in bed, while my bones ache and I rock on the waves of nausea, and I want more than anything to be SuperMommy, happy to volunteer, present at pickup, ready with fun ideas and field trips to museums downtown. But before I can be all that, first I must rest, and rest a lot. The rest will come.
To help: Click and vote everyday in October for the Army of Women to get a $250k grant to help enroll ALL women, with and without breast cancer in research projects to find the cause AND the cures for cancer. They particularly need to find women of color, so please vote and volunteer! (You can also vote on Facebook.) Thanks, friends….