A reluctant update

It’s been three days since I wrote my last post, and the feeling of shin splints all over my body is only now lessening.  It worsened late Monday, extending not just to my arms and legs but also up my spine and around and around my rib cage.  My feet were red and too tender to walk on, and my trips to the physical therapist, while necessary to relieve the cording down my left arm and swelling in my right, were not fun at all. 

My parents have been absolutely wonderful, though, taking care of the house and children while I basically checked out and rested, and took pain relief, let the physical therapist work on what she could, and drank lots and lots of water to wash the chemo out of my system.  I watched some tv, although I couldn’t tell you what, and read some blogs, although I can’t remember whose (it was yours, of course, and I’m sorry I didn’t comment), and tried to work but essentially gave up for a few days, which was okay because I had done what HAD to be done in advance, so that I could rest when I needed to.  Saving it up “for a rainy day” as it were, only then I had the hardest time admitting that it finally was my rainy day, and it sucked.

And I had to talk to NASA again about not meeting my milestone last month, and that sucked too.  It’s not like me to miss a milestone or not turn work in on time.  It’s not like me at all, and it broke my heart and made me angry beyond words, all at once.  But I gamely sent them a file of my book as it is, all 700 pages of it (what? that includes the appendicies, you know), and promised again to edit it down in January.

I will.  I’m good for it.

I will.

And finally, today, the pain lessened and my feet ceased to burn, and I was able to rest and then sit with a good friend in the backyard as we watched the children play and waited for another friend’s meal to cook.


17 Responses to A reluctant update

  1. Linda Lawrence says:

    Just wanted you to know we are thinking of you.

  2. Stimey says:

    It’s so hard to miss deadlines, but taking care of yourself is the best reason you can have. And I’m sure they know you are good for it. Here’s hoping the rainclouds move on a little bit.

  3. Joeymom says:

    Sending lots of (gentle) hugs.

  4. Sometimes on those really rainy days it feels awesome to just stomp in the puddles. Assertive kick-ass puddle stomping.

    Stomp your way through the rain it might make you feel better and bring a smile to your face. Even if the stomping is more metaphoric than actual, the results are typically the same. : )
    And if you want me to physically stomp in puddle for you the next time it rains, I will. Literally, and I’ll video the entire thing for you.

  5. Catherine says:

    So sorry to hear you’ve had such a tough time. It’s so good to hear that you’re feeling a little better, that your parents are there to help, and that you were able to rest. Your post reminded me of an article (that I can’t find now) about how rest is undervalued. It really IS an action, it’s doing something that you need. It sounds like you had a good afternoon, it was a beautiful day to be outside.

  6. Hooray for good friends, and (grand)parents to offer umbrellas on the rainy days. I’m sorry you had such a bad time, and I’m glad things are getting better again. Sending lots and lots of love!

  7. Amy@UWM says:

    I would be so horribly bothered by missing deadlines too. That has to be so frustrating. Glad you had a chance to rest and heal. Hate that you have to endure all of this just to get well. Makes me want to work harder. Thinking of you.


  8. Dawn says:

    Saving up for a rainy day is good. *hugs*

  9. The deadlines will be met and your book will be finished because you will those things to happen but for now, just rest. Let us help so you can heal so you can have enough strength to do all the things you want to very soon. Sending lots of love your way!

  10. Elaine says:

    Bummer about the missed milestone, but yay for friends and family who kick-in at the right time. Your book sounds like it will be an incredible contribution.

  11. Donna W says:

    I was going to comment, and then realized I had no words. But know that I am thinking of you often.

  12. magpie says:

    Wish I were nearer by; I’d cook for you.

    Thought of you while I was reading the paper this morning – nice article about a program that takes women out to learn to fly fish.

    Casting for Recovery: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/11/giving/11CAST.html

  13. Amanda says:

    Wishing I could cushion, ease and carry. Thinking of you all.

  14. Oh god girl you are so “good for it” in so many ways that I can’t list them all here or I’d break your server! Your courage & your unfailing good cheer takes my breath away. NASA is lucky to have you!

  15. Teri says:

    I really think you are an amazing person. That’s all.

  16. Adam says:

    I prayed this morning that your ears, which do not have bones, would feel especially good.

  17. Only 700 pages? Slacker. Hope your feet feel better soon; you need them to kick cancer’s a$$ for good.

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