I am stronger every day. I know I’ve said that before, but I really do believe it. Excepting the fact that I’m up today writing at 4 a.m. (hi, Robin!), I’ve felt great and slept deeply all week. My aches and bone pain have been (mostly) bearable, and the nausea wasn’t too bad this time around. I think the weekly chemo is more do-able than the once-every-three weeks protocol, but it may also be that this drug (Taxol) is much less severe than the first (AC). In fact, I know it is.
As proof, we spent the last two days visiting Williamsburg, VA, and having grand adventures. Well, WhyDaddy was at a meeting. But I had grand adventures, driving up the river to a peaceful retreat near a tiny beach at Yorktown, shopping at Prime Outlets sans kids, reading The Other Mother for DC Moms Book Club, and resting my achy body in the hotel pool. We had an intimate dinner at the most fabulous Italian restaurant , Maurizio’s, and we talked all the way there and back. I had not planned to go along with WhyDaddy on this trip, but at the last minute we decided to try it, to give me some time away from these four walls and hopefully all the thoughts of cancer and responsibility that surround me here. It was dreadful leaving the children for an overnight, but they were very happy with Grammy and Grampa, and we all were thrilled to see each other when we came home.
I love those kids.
In other news, I was, um, on the news last night. Here are the clips of the pieces that Fox 5 ran on inflammatory breast cancer yesterday: Video Clip 1, Video Clip 2, and Video Clip 3 (this one features Team WhyMommy and our attempt to spread the word about IBC through blogging!). The first two ran in the morning news hour, and the third one (which you and I were on) was part of the evening news. I also went down to the studios to do a Live WebChat on Fox 5’s website. We had at least 27 people sign in during the news program, and we don’t know how many more viewed the chat but didn’t sign in to talk. The producer was really happy with this number, and invited me to start a blog over there to continue the discussion. I’d love to do that, but
I have to go to chemo in two hours.
And so I’m having trouble sleeping. I know that chemo is saving my life. I know that it’s a miracle, and I am ever so grateful for it. I am, 100% of the time. But it also temporarily dulls my senses and makes it difficult to write. Last week, I spent much of Saturday night writing — emails, web posts, book reviews — anything, to resharpen my mind and make the words flow again. It’s a weekly challenge, forcing my brain to remember how to string the words together and share an experience cogently and with care. I can do it, don’t get me wrong, but it takes a couple days to regain what chemo steals from me as it simultaneously gives me new life.
So every week I ride this roller coaster and wait for the tumor to shrink enough for surgery.