Angsty

September 7, 2008

Angsty, really angsty.

Torn up about a few things this week.

1 – Laptop broke.  Ouch.  It’s okay; this one was easily replaceable.

2 – Work/life balance. Want to do work.  Want to make a difference.  But can’t bear being away from my kids.  Selfish?  You bet.  Priviledged?  Of course.  I am so lucky to be able to make these choices, by the day, even.  But there’s still no easy answer.

3 – Thrilled that someone has found an answer she’s happy with.  Sarah Palin.  Kids in the office, husband on the slope, more kids at home with grandparents.  She must be happy — she’s kept on having more kids, even as her jobs have gotten more and more demanding.  Am so very proud that it’s working for one of us out there.  Am concerned too.  So many of us are having so much trouble balancing just a couple kids and (maybe) a job, or community (gasp!) organizing … does Palin’s success tell us that we’re doing it wrong?  That the struggle is over?  That we’re living in a post-feminist society, where gender truly doesn’t matter?  I only wish it were so.  But it’s not.

4 – Terrified that this Palin nomination is going to tear us apart, just when it was time for us to come together on family issues.

5 – Having trouble adjusting to abrupt menopause.  Recovering from the surgery was largely a cinch.  Waiting (still waiting) for the path report and the CT scan analysis is not.  Am grumpy.  Am grumpy and tired.  And current events are not helping any.

Sorry for the crabby post.  But if you have friends who are abruptly losing their ovaries?  You should know that they may be grumpy for a little while too.