Going HOME!

I’m going home!

Friends, I am so excited and so blessed to write these words this morning, just six days after chemo and a change in meds, as doubling my oxycontin didn’t change its effectiveness; five days after I held my husband’s hand and panicked (ICAN’TGETABREATH!) over oxycontin withdrawal, while my father monitored my pulse and checked my respiration rate; three days after I was sent to the ER with 102′ fever and shortness of breath, which turned out to be pneumonia; just two days after I was admitted to the neuro unit, with 87/57 blood pressure, where they could put me on oxygen and monitor my heart. Time passed quickly in these small beige rooms, and much has changed.

Of all the things I’ll take away from this week, I most want to remember my lovinghusband, who left my side only when asked (7-8 am and pm, unit rules); my incredible parents, who watched my kids and played, dressed, and fed them while we were gone; my friends, willing and eager to pick me up and take me to the ER – or anywhere, really (I wish I could take them somewhere fun for once!), and many of the hospital staff, of course:

Housekeeping, not usually asked to clean the rooms of late-stage cancer patients, didn’t blink at my “do” or the hair I shed on their nice clean floors. At one point, there were three nice women with two brooms and a mop!

The efficient techs who quietly measured my vital signs every 4 hours. Especially the ones with a smile, like the ones on Sunday and Tuesday. Thank you, ladies.

The nurses who talked to me in gentle reassuring tones, or happy tones with friendly words, who made me feel not quite so out-of-place, as I struggled with the addition of “oxygen tubes” as an accessory.

The oncology doctors who checked in and kept things level for me, reassuring me that this has nothing to do with the cancer cells themselves, and I’m not really immunocompromised in our sense of the word, even when people here say I am.

The medical student who read every word of my chart, sitting down after rounds to ask me about IBC and how it presented (Hi, Brian!).

The doctor who really took the time to get to know me, realizing that pneumonia is terrifying for an advanced cancer patient. He patiently explained the treatments and their intended effects, including his take on what might happen at home and when I’d need to come back. He even called my primary care doctor to explain what was going on — and even made me an appointment! His willingness to spend a little extra time with me ensured that I was confident in the treatment — and I am.

The two women who came to my room from pastoral care. Eucharistic ministers, they were simply members of a church trained to share the body and the spirit of Christ with the sick. Their visits were healing, and I felt God’s presence.

Thank you all. I’m going home!


93 Responses to Going HOME!

  1. So happy you are coming home, much better than when you went in. Answered prayers are blessings indeed! Love you!

  2. Hooray for home! Hooray for family and friends! Hooray for caring medical professionals! Hooray for curious med students!!! Once again you are helping others simply be being open and honest — Brian will surely diagnose a case earlier because he took the time to talk with you.

  3. anandaleeke says:

    AMEN. I am so happy for you Susan. This is a true blessing. Will continue to send you and your family love and light.

  4. Yaaaaaayyyyyy!!! Kiss everyone from your lovin’ friends too……

  5. So happy to read this this morning.

  6. Robin says:

    Happy dance!

  7. Janine says:

    I love all of what I just read. Hope, gratitude, love. It’s all in there. So happy for you.

  8. loran says:


  9. Sandra says:

    Your blog posts are amazing, as are you. It is incredibly generous of you to share your journey and you are blessing the lives of all who get to be a part of it, and/or read about it via your blog. Wishing you peace, love, and joy.

  10. I couldn’t be happier to hear this wonderful news and I could care less about going somewhere fun…I just want to see you when you get home, ok? Hooray!

  11. alejna says:

    This is good news. I am happy to read of all the people who have been good to you these past few days..

  12. Alice says:

    Happy happy happy you are coming home
    Thank you from bottom of my heart for sharing

    I wish I had shared more with my mom and sister in law. Thank you Susan for throwing such a powerful light on this very personal journey.

  13. Stimey says:

    So happy to read this.

  14. {sue} says:

    Little blessings everywhere. I’m glad you’re going home to the two blessing waiting for your snuggles.

  15. Joan says:

    Oh beyond joy is the feeling – so glad to read all of the above, so thankful for your wisdom and awareness and your gift of sharing and teaching us right along with you. You are the best Christmas present EVER.

  16. Bon says:

    i’m so glad you’re going home. it sounds like the last little while has been a bit overwhelming – the not being able to breathe, the withdrawal, just the institutional bureaucracy of hospitals that leads to lines like the ones you got around your pain pills. i am grateful your body is stronger than when you went in, and so glad you are going home to be with your boys. xo.

  17. J.J. Newby says:

    Hallelujah! This is the best news I’ve had all day!

  18. YESSS! Such wonderful news. Praise God for the loving care you received. Now off to your loving home.

  19. Freedom indeed. So glad you’re coming home. I hope to visit very soon πŸ™‚

  20. queenofspain says:

    Exhaling. Love you. Stay tough. Stay you. xoxoxoxox and yes yes yes home. HOME. H-O-M-E!!!!

  21. Catherine H Myers says:

    Wow, Susan. I’m stunned that you could go through all that and then write about it. Thank you. Thank you for feelings/insights I can’t even find the words for, for so much I’ve gained just from reading your blog, for realizations yet to come (I find myself thinking of you at unexpected times and in unexpected circumstances). I’m so glad you’re on your way home today.

  22. Niksmom says:

    Hip-hip-hooray!!! *tosses confetti in celebration*
    ::::::::::::::::::HOME SWEET HOME!:::::::::::::::::::::::

  23. Hooray! I love the way you celebrate the positives in what must have been an overwhelmingly scary experience. So glad you are back at home today. Much much love.

  24. Wordgirl says:

    I am so thrilled you are going home! Hooray!

  25. Jodi says:

    So happy for you Susan!! Enjoy the comfort of your home and your beautiful family!

  26. *m* says:


  27. Diane Krapf says:

    Thank you for having strength to write to all of us. Hearing the words You are going home must have brought much relief on its own. I’m praying and thinking of you! Welcome home!!!

  28. revdrmom says:

    So glad you’re going home and so glad you have kind and compassionate caregivers.

    You are in my prayers every day!

  29. WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I am thankful for that wonderful news!!!

    I am thankful to ‘see you’ in here today!!!

    I am still/always lifting you up!!!

  30. Diana Funk says:

    wonderful news! get some rest, my friend. wishing you much peace and love…

  31. Susan,
    Your strength, both emotional and physical, in the face of all this is–well, mind-boggling is the only expression that comes to mind. I am eternally grateful to you for your willingness to take us on this journey with you. You are giving me, all of us, a gift beyond measure.

  32. FishyGirl says:

    Yay! So happy that you found so many positives in your experience and that you are coming home. Home is great!

  33. Amy from VA says:


    I was worried. I shouldn’t have been. You are in the best of care and of the caring.


  34. ilinap says:

    Yippee!!! And it’s so like you to call out and thank everyone who supported you. The world needs more Susans.

  35. AnneMarie says:

    Just like Susan… indeed… to thank every single person. You DO inspire me. I want to be better because of the example you set. Grace under pressure and in the face of being terrified. Sitting with a med student so he could learn. You just blow me away. Totally blown away….

    love your snowflakes by the way πŸ˜‰


  36. Very good news Susan. Keep the fight, girl. Keep it! oh, and you are a gracious lady indeed.


  37. Thanks be to God for answered prayer!

  38. J.A. Grier says:

    So happy that you can come home! I hope this passes quickly, with no more scary stuff involved. You are always in our thoughts.

  39. jesterqueen1 says:

    That’s awesome! You are a brave Mama engaged in a terrifying struggle. I’m so very glad you’re heading home.

  40. cynthiagy says:

    Susan ~ that is GREAT, STUPENDOUS news! Sending you healing, loving vibes and prayers from Ohio! Hope this is the most drama you have for the rest of the month, and you can enjoy the holidays with your sweet family! God bless you all! πŸ™‚

  41. magpie says:

    So happy you’re going home! Love to you, Susan.

  42. Kami says:

    Amen woman! Everything heals better at home with the addition of unlimited “boy” hugs when needed. Your fighting like a girl again, go you! πŸ˜‰

  43. Brian, How brilliant of you to understand the teacher you had in Susan. You will learn so much to advance your career in the medical field by following her.

    Meanwhile, tears stream down my face to hear the different tone in this post. The happiness and joy is so evident.

    I hope snowflakes fall this evening and I hope if they do, you and the boys will go outside to let them hit your cheeks while you giggle together.

    Yay home!!

    love you!!!

  44. So happy to hear you are going home and that you are surrounded by such great support.

  45. I want to say thank you after pretty much everything you say, all the time. But I mean it. Thank you.

  46. Amanda says:

    Always the way you are, sad or joyous, hurting or blissing. Honored to know you here and privileged to go spread this good news. Love upon you all.

  47. Karianna says:

    So happy for the support you received while in the hospital and how you can go home. Many hugs!

  48. kimmer says:

    Congratulations on being sprung from the hospital. I’m so glad, no matter how wonderful everyone is – it’s better to be home.

  49. Wonderful Wonderful news Susan. Glad to hear you will be home with your beautiful family. Warm Soft Hugs~

  50. So glad you could go home where you can rest and be with your family. That’s the best place to be. Take care.

  51. Linda Lawrence says:


  52. Darryle says:

    Wonderful news! I’m sure nothing is as healing as home is. Sending love and hugs– Everything you say and do continues to inspire.

  53. extremeparenthood says:

    I’m so glad you have been able to come home Susan to the comfort of your own bed and surrounded by your kiddos.

  54. Ruth Cullen says:

    You. Are. Amazing.

    All good things in the universe to you and your family. xxoo

  55. Tina says:

    Woohoo!! So happy for you Susan – God is good.

  56. Sue Farrell says:

    Angels come in all forms, don’t they? I am happy for your respite no matter how long it may be. May you enjoy the peace of the Season with all of your family and friends.

  57. Karen says:

    Wonderful news!

  58. Michelle says:

    This sounded like a job for the warrior princess’s. We could have kicked some serious you know what! So glad you are home with your boys!

  59. Dorothy Doyle says:

    So glad to read this…Home Sweet Home!

  60. I’m so glad to hear this! Sounds like you’ve had wonderful care.

  61. Toby Ratcliffe says:

    just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending comforting thoughts your way. you are so brave, and so amazing and so loved.

  62. Brandie says:

    Susan! I am so happy for you! This post has warmed my heart. And I’m so grateful for the good care you getting from all around you. (((gentle hugs)))

  63. Becki says:

    So, so happy that you are receiving gentle and good care, and most of all that you get to be home!

  64. NYFriend says:

    Yea! So glad you are going home.

    Wishing you a cozy, snuggley afternoon with your boys today. πŸ™‚

  65. Betty Wilson says:

    Wonderful news! Love and prayers to you and your family as your return home.

  66. […] from: Going HOME! Β« Toddler Planet Be Sociable, Share! Tweet This entry was posted in Home & Garden and tagged […]

  67. clifford says:

    Rock on. There’s no good rest like the kind you get in your own bed.

  68. laurie says:

    Susan, I’m so glad. So glad for the excellent care you’re receiving and above all the love that surrounds you. Beyond glad to hear this news. Thinking of you every day.

  69. Jan says:

    Susan, I don’t know if you saw it or not but there is an article in the Wall Street Journal today about two new therapies for metastatic breast cancer.

  70. Nadia says:

    So glad you are going home to be with you family!

  71. Michele says:

    Susan, welcome home. I thought this song/video might give you comfort. It’s by the Casting Crowns, the song I Praise You in this Storm.

  72. Wonderful, wonderful news!! So very glad that you were treated with such good care, by amazing professionals. I loved, especially, that Brian the medical student was so attentive and interested– people like him are going to make all the difference to the cancer treatment of the future.

    Bless you– xoxo CGF

  73. You are amazing and so is your support system. So glad you are back home!

  74. zahra says:

    Anything but not the big C. I am so happy that you are going back home to your family. With love

  75. Ann says:

    I have been reading your blog for several months now. I am constantly amazed that you can find Grace and Thankfulness in this journey.

    Glad to read that you are going home.

  76. NOR says:

    Havent’ been here in a while but glad glad glad to hear the good news.

  77. Becky W says:

    Your post made me smile and a theme song pop into my head. Did you ever watch Ally McBeal?

    I’m coming home, I’m coming home
    Tell the world I’m coming home
    Let the rain wash away
    All the pain of yesterday
    –P. Diddy with Skylar Grey

    May this holiday season be filled with blessings small and large.

  78. you happied and hurt my heart at the same time.

    You are THAT amazing.


  79. so glad that you’re going home. thoughts with you and yours, as always.

  80. So wonderful to hear that you’re going home!!!

  81. There’s no place like home!! My best, Susan.

  82. I’m so glad you’re going home and leaving the hospital. I hope you can feel better, more comfortable, and have lots of good days with your kids. Thinking of you, Liz Szabo.

  83. KMC says:

    Susan, you are touching thousands of lives through your writing and experiences, and teaching others to live a life of gratitude. As a medical student, the experiences you have shared have taught me the importance of always putting the patient first. Your strength throughout these experiences serve as a constant motivation for so many people. You are an amazing woman, and I know God is watching over you and your family. God bless! ❀

  84. Sherry McCammon says:

    Great news, Susan. You ae an inspiration to so many πŸ™‚

  85. kel says:

    So happy for you to be going home. Wishing you the best.

  86. *m* says:

    Hi Susan,

    You’re on my mind today — and every day — and just wanted to drop by to tell you so. Sending you caring thoughts.

  87. […] breast cancer and metastatic breast cancer until just recently, as I have watched my friend Susan Niebur fight MBC valiantly. Susan is the mother of two young children and is living every day to the […]

  88. Adam says:

    Praying for you nightly. Happy Advent.

  89. […] breast cancer and metastatic breast cancer until just recently, as I have watched my friend Susan Niebur fight MBC valiantly. Susan is the mother of two young children and is living every day to the […]

  90. Karen says:

    Thinking of you often, Susan. I hope you’re feeling a bit stronger these days.

  91. Diane Krapf says:

    You are on my mind and in our hearts.

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